I am appalled, I have failed to secure or retain a personal connection, a fallen notion, an untidy, needy calling. Why does my desire to be considered, to be seen without trigger exist, a stifling need woven like poison ivy around a body and mind so disheartened?
As I sit down to write, my muscles ease, feet arrange neatly into place, my fingers at the ready. This is my time, where I will shine with tendrils of arrangements that are written not only for me, but for others, too, I don’t simply write for myself, I have a sense of duty to them, for from within me, like a geyser I expel my truths.
Author's note: This poem details a point in my mental health journey where I was hospitalised for extreme mania, grand delusions and psychosis. These could not be controlled with time and much medication, hence I was subjected to the often-controversial practice of electro-convulsive therapy. The poet whom I speak of in my poem is extremely [...]
As our car enters our street, around the bend the surprising sunshine greets, glorious, positive, shining, it strangely has no effect upon me. Where once I felt the warmth, the sunshine’s smile, now I remain hollow, there’s nothing brightening about. All I can remember, all I can recall, are the feelings of emptiness, when will [...]
Some may view me as mechanically sound, for I smile quite naturally and talk with a lilting, confident tone. My words are humorous, relaxed, and 'well', they don’t know what’s hiding inside, the astringent sadness, she overwhelms. Internally, I feel stretched, as though a punishing thin layer has been made out of me, a [...]
I’ll admit it. Depression must be settling in. The sadness has quietly crept into my clothing and then into my bones, until I’ve become used to his company. I snipe at little things, take offense, wallow with despair, I want to reject this feeling, but I am too languid, I need some form of [...]