Tag: fear

  • Poem: What To Feel. – Spoken Word and Text – 11/07/20

    Poem: What To Feel. – Spoken Word and Text – 11/07/20

    Audio: What to Feel.
    Can I feel the moment?
    This fateful occasion heralding?
    When I realise that
    things have been growing
    and stirring,
    how this is not
    how the interior
    was once mapped,
    the scanning reveals a foreboding view.
     
    I am astounded,
    into fearfulness I’ve
    been slapped,
     
    my duty of care to myself
    is incredibly important,
    because, what I am pre-empting,
    the consequences, the conclusion,
    may all be my fault;
    the past is a regrettable fact.
     
    I’ve been told not to worry,
    to please, return in two years,
    I will return sooner, because,
    what was discovered
    causes my inherent fear to drive
    its nail nearer,
    its harsh end forces me to
    dread and shudder.
     
    Literature also informs
    me to not necessarily worry,
    but how can I not?
    I am stuck, stuck, stuck,
    in that moment,
    during that phone call,
    test results later numbly held in hand,
    the fact that
    growths are present
    sends me into a firm, well-stated panic.
     
    And sadly, I begin
    to contemplate those who are important,
    because how would they
    feel if I were to leave
    prematurely, if you will,
     
    these are certain lives
    I’m interwoven with,
    fiercely, with love,
    and who would wish for what I fear?
    For what I’m envisaging,
    the future truth will be but my curse.  
     
    Am I overly paranoid or concerned?
    Worrying for nothing?
    I think not,
    though,
    why whine?
    The results were benign,
     
    I am aware of this reality,
    but those occupying space within my body,
    their unwelcome appearance,
    I know they can easily alter their composition,
    subtly morph into evil and became further invasive.
     
    All I can do is wait and take care of myself,
    and become calm,
    anything but nervous, panicked, or agitated.
    
    A/N: I wrote this piece to settle myself, and to centre my sense of internal gravity again. I wasn't sure whether to post this as it's very personal, but I thought maybe it may help someone out there, or allow them to relate to my emotions.
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.  

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  • Poem: The Cobra Attack – 25/04/20

    Poem: The Cobra Attack – 25/04/20

    Distortion fills my ears,
    the drums,
    the drums,
    a cacophony
    winds its way through,
    auditory bombs.
     
    I can feel the sound of livelihood
    dripping from my ears,
    these precious orifices,
    here, there is so much to grin and bear.
     
    Shell-shocked by the decibels,
    I know that others enjoy their cause,
    tainted sound waves,
    an invisible cobra bites,
    inserts everything an attack could possibly entail.
     
    And now it wraps its way around my ankle,
    my leg,
    the constriction a welcome feeling as the venom
    swims in my head,
     
    the narrowed eyes,
    the dutiful cause,
    it’s attacked
    and now the life it claims
    is no longer mine –
    would it willingly take yours?
     
    Hallucinations swim before my eyes,
    I’m held down,
    down,
    as though an unwilling sacrifice,
    there now appears little tiny cobras
    scattering toward me,
    slivering collectively,
    and I know my fate already,
    outside my chest the frantic pounding rhythm
    of my heartbeat grows.
     
    They attack from all angles,
    oh, the grief at knowing this may be the end,
    suddenly a super, herculean
    strength becomes of me
    and I rise,
    triumphant,
    throwing and grabbing them off my body,
    where they had suckled
    and rested their vicious hungering heads.
     
    I peel myself off the ground now,
    escape is no longer difficult,
    rushing into the wilderness,
    away from the crazed cacophony
    and altered visions
    where I will hopefully find,
    rediscover the safety of my herd.
    
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Image by sipa from Pixabay   

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  • Poem: These Unknown Times – 26/03/20

    Poem: These Unknown Times – 26/03/20

    In these unknown times,
    where regulations reign to keep us safe,
    we stay home,
    we rest,
    we recoup,
    we pray to God that we will get through this biological affray.
     
    Burrowed down in our blankets,
    our eyes plastered to the laptop screens,
    watching the news with great earnest, 
    what is going on?
    How will this eventuate?
    What does this all mean?
     
    How will we survive when daily our lives are at risk
    and humankind is anything but unscathed? 
    We await with apprehension
    while some are blasé about the rules
    they go out,
    they socialise,
    themselves they gather without guilt.
     
    Selfish and ignorant are such types,
    but what can we do?
    We are right for staying in,
    it is our method of isolation,
    our following of instructions,
    the immovable truth,
     
    A means that surely will slow the rate down,
    of the infection taking as many as it can,
    to those undisciplined voyagers,
    I sadly say, 
    all the best to you,
    for us all, protect yourselves and remain strong.
     
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Image by Валерия Шарагина from Pixabay

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  • Story: The Most Easily Startled Shark You Would Ever Meet – 01/09/19

    Story: The Most Easily Startled Shark You Would Ever Meet – 01/09/19

    Spike was an easily startled shark, everything he saw caused him a sense of horror to be seen, he jumped at the sight of anything, even a malformed coral piece lurking deep within the sea. The shadowy darkness of a cavern would make him tremble just so, the privacy for him was no sense or heaven to want, need of or know. Better that he stayed away, glided off, swum away, into fresher waters before he bumped into a fish hook plied with a slimy worm which refused to be still, to stay, and the notion that he could be caught by a nasty human terrified him this day.

    The worm upon the hook swayed, swayed this way and that, grinning to Spike seemingly, murmuring that it would be okay, to eat him, to taste, how delicious he would be, why, he only needed to have just a little taste, and then freedom from the sea Spike would be knowing, this was a fact! Because Spike disliked being in the depths, he wanted to free of the sights and scenes of the sea’s frightening views, and if that meant he had to throw himself out of the sea, that was what he was prepared to do. But now that Worm was presenting another way to escape this world, Spike was beginning to grow less suspicious, perhaps the hook would take him upward in a method that was safe to be known. He didn’t have to bite into it, cause the hook to puncture his mouth, his precious face, he could perhaps link himself onto it with his tail or his fins, that would hurt less, and would allow him a view like nothing else. 

    As he would rise from the deep, he envisaged himself dangling with ease, looking down upon the shrinking seascape feeling so very pleased. He would see the passing whales, spouting out water from their blowholes, schools of fish in the pristine water so clever, swarming together, so fit. The image itself seemed to make Spike happy, it was a method of escaping, to be taken away, to a better place, where, once lifted high enough, he could detach himself and throw himself on land, then a new life he would find. It all made perfect sense to him, thus he then hooked his tail to the hook, not before having devoured the worm though, the living form of protein he knew would be wise to take from the hook.  

    With a shake and a tug, he alerted to the humans up above that he was ready to be lifted up. Slowly they allowed his ascent, permitting him the view around the sea and above, just as he had thought, the views were just as he’d understood and were what the worm had explained to him, what he’d meant, and soon he was hanging from above a trawling ship, where large fish rested upon their deck such as huge specimens of marlin and tuna.

    “MY!” called the fishermen. “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT??” A collective gasp as they view Spike the frightened shark as he approached them with an apparent gruesome intent. His teeth were bared wide with fright, although the humans misconstrued this as threatening, he swung this way and that, trying to free himself onto land, from the firm hook that was keeping him from escaping. It was not going along as planned, he wanted to be free of these gawking, threatening men, who surely only wanted to eat him later, moments before in which he’d surely be suffering.

    Around and around Spike swung, he was barely avoiding the men with their grappling hands and violent bats. He didn’t know precisely what they wanted to do with them, but it seemed as though they wanted to hit him many times, this seemed an obvious fact. He wriggled about and wriggled some more, and slipped from the hook, onto the deck the humans were grinning, their desires almost assured. He slid this way to escape them, and then slid to the end of the ship some more, until he was heavy enough to weigh them down, a forty five degree angle the ship was now at large.

    Spike knew that to get to the nearby land he would need to pop back into the sea, but he was reluctant to do so, because he had been so eager to leave. What if he couldn’t escape the sea again so easily, without the fisherman’s hook leverage, essentially he would have to bounce from here to there, with a type of cushioning to please. So instead he grabbed two humans, the ones who seemed most intent on having him of this world leave, and he sat upon them, allowing them to be buoyant, life saving devices for them now to be. They were frightened, startled beyond belief, at being attached to Spike, but he smiled to himself, grinned inside, and said, “Well, that’s what happens when you try to make me into oil, meat and hide!” They shook vigorously, their eyes widened and startled, their words begging for him to free them, but he wouldn’t, after all, he needed them, to escape their hunting world.

    Splash, he re-entered his previous world, and bounce up and down, he did, with delight, the humans realised that they could also survive here, as long as their heads were kept above water, they would be able to remain alive. He swum towards the bank, the shore where he would live quietly and well, and once he’d used the humans for his benefits, he detached from them, waved them off, and said his fond farewells.

    “Thanks for capturing me, I captured you in turn,” he said with a snide smile. “I am no longer frightened of you, this place, or my former world.” He was a shark of great bravery, for his travels he had learned, that there was nothing to be scared of, at least not in his new world. There were no brightly coloured corals to hurt himself upon, there were no murky caverns to explore and discover undesirables inside waiting to be known, and now upon land the only thing Spike needed to be worried of was remaining hydrated and having enough air to breathe in and out with precious appreciation and grateful love. He had overcome his fears, just by entering our reality, our world. Sometimes leaving behind what we do not wish to face can allow us to explore other exciting realms.

    © 2019 Alice Well, Lauren M. Hancock also known as Alice Well. All rights reserved.


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