moving forward – Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

Poem: Changes – 04/02/21

I liked the way the pain was numbed,
as though an anaesthetist injected me,
cruel jab to be kind,
no feelings of any style,
was it easier to not feel those emotions of old,
none to be felt, seen, or held?

I became empty,
days monotonous, nothing to look forward to,
that become pain in itself,
the knowing that the unknowing promised all the much
the same,
nothing forthcoming,
no southerly, northerly direction,
east and west hadn’t heard of me either.

Memories would be brought back in excruciating and extracted style,
reminiscing upon the joys with emotions of sorrow and hurt,
devastation and longing,
but the truth is,
there was nothing to salvage from that path, that view.

Once so empty,
now feeling so full,
my heart swells,
it blossoms,
my path here was arduous but I made it,
a tentative shaky-cornered smile appears,
and I’m suddenly feeling so blessed to have made it through
the storm and the cyclones and the hurricanes,
and everything that the gods could have thrown at me,
this moment I righteously own.

© 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Virgil Cayasa on Unsplash

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February 4, 2021

Poem: Something Dear and Personal – Spoken Word and Text – 19/06/20

“Something Dear and Personal” – Spoken by myself.

If something
deeply personal
is what you
want to read,
 
by all means
settle in,
grab hot cocoa,
or steaming cup 
of tea.
 
What can I share?
What will I reveal?
Grab desperately 
from my past?
 
Drag forth
contentious,
gossip-worthy,
or scintillating news?
 
Will I or won’t I?
That’s what you need to ask.
 
Is it really necessary,
am I required to 
put on a show?
 
A song and dance 
of history
of what I can recall,
detailing what you may 
want or need
to know?
 
Why, no. 
No, no.
 
There is no need for a show.
 
But if there were, 
would
it be:
 
Tumultuous,
bittersweet,
even provocative?
My goodness, no!
Please! 
I am all subtleties,

watch me as I respectfully curtsy,
a dainty pirouette and now
we’re back on topic,
will I let the revelations
flow with ease?
 
Because I can test
your patience by slowly,
painstakingly, 
dragging out
the rocks and pearls 
of the past,
 
but what would be 
the point?
It is better to 
look forward,
 
the Past’s ship
has sailed,
hoorah! 
To the future
we are delivered at last.
 
Stories of old
may have their place
in a certain context, 
but for me,
they rule no realm,
 
in my world,
they have no
victorious reign,
no power can the Past itself proclaim.
 
Moving forward,
I’m looking abroad,
no furtive glances behind.

Will you look at me?
I’ve advanced myself:
 
my goodness,
oh, Lord! 
No firm facts here delivered,
lips tightly sealed
protecting a personal, precious prize.

The past shall remain a closed book,
it's what I've realised and decided,
no need to ride those monstrous waves,
the future, 
to me, 
looks perfect.

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

Image: by myself. 
Background music: Documentary Background Music by AShamaluevMusic: 
https://youtu.be/il9HGo4hPjI 
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported— CC BY 3.0 
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/

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Ho me

YouTube Poem Videos – Lauren M. Hancock Poetry

June 19, 2020

Poem: Progression – 10/05/20

A lady of goodness smiles upon me,
wishing me so well,
the nature of her desire for me to flourish
causes warmth to flush my body,
to flow through my being,
will I succeed?
Only time will be able to tell.
 
It is as though I have been granted a reprieve,
a chance to make of this time something more,
my chance to rise,
to change myself,
something I must treasure,
I must take hold of,
and allow my growth to be fostered by
my heart, my heart, my heart,
this is something I know in myself,
a journey I understand well.  
 
And no matter if the tides will turn,
if I lose control temporarily,
I shan’t allow myself to skip,
to miss a beat,
 
because health will be nurtured
and my safety restored,
all placed at ease,
any stressors,
any sufferings,
I will work through my condition,
with the help of others,
the ones who care for and love me.
 
Sometimes we need to reach out a hand,
sometimes we’ll need to grasp onto help,
but when it comes to the time
when we can do it ourselves,
me, myself, alone,
this is when the lady will return,
smiling and cheering me on.

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Image by Лариса Мозговая from Pixabay

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May 10, 2020

Poem: Coulda, Woulda, Should – 12/11/19

 As I sit upon that mountain top
 of coulda, woulda, should, 
 I wonder to myself what would happen
 if I actually would with my actions do. 
  
 The methods of my madness,
 the truth among the omission of lies,
 my projected sense of attitude
 determined to succeed before
 all sets of eyes.

 Where the observers sit awaiting,
 watching carefully as I traverse the
 steps in my life where 
 I should have been filled 
 with embarrassment and regret.
  
 The moments where I could have wished 
 to have wiped clean the visions and those times
 but the truth is I don’t want to wipe them away,
 they are history,
 they are part of what made me 
 here and who I am today.
  
 Without such experiences 
 who would have known whether I’d have
 travelled down a differing though 
 similar path and be worse off in my 
 current version of today?
  
 Best to work with what I know, 
 And cherish the way my life has turned out
 upon this promising open path.