it is with joy that I thank this world that I live in,
This Universe that makes my heart sing, a certain knowing that tender love does bring.
I thank the Universe for my guides, the archangels for their presence, and with goodness and grace heaven sent, I thank the Lord for being there for me, even when at times I fail at acknowledgement.
Raise my ears to the Heavens, scorch the skies with my passions, and Kingdom Come, there is magic in my circumstance, delirium in my instance, and an amazing reverie for us to view, to speak of, to sing with, my darlings, won’t you harken with me?
Thank you so much to my good friend and fellow Melbourne creative, Braeden Kennedy (@bak_doodlin_away) on Instagram) for drawing this amazing piece of art for me to set a poem to.
I am powerful, he affirms himself creative, talented, incredible, and different, the cool sea-blue surrounding his heart, mind, and soul, cerulean blue, seascape days calms him as he calls upon the sign of the angels exhibited by the sun’s rays. warmed by their love their guidance from up above, he basks in their glory and feels the connection from outside and deep within, it will last, he tells himself, a cruel voice sniggers from afar – “if only, you think…” manipulations from the other side another world perhaps alternative rides, taking a ride on the train with these characters, he won’t forget, their words often harsh, grating, snide. one, passes, thrusts a handful of tarot cards before him, apparently he’s a seafaring page and she the empress? he shan’t grow unfocused, with his art, he won’t digress with his guiding spirit he soars away from the clownfish and the sea the mermaids, the distractions, the memories which do not please, and from within he calls again to angels to allow his creativity to breathe… (c) 2022 Poem by Lauren M. Hancock @laurenm.hancock
Please visit, like, share and support Braeden’s artwork! He is so talented and his artwork so unique. Thanks once again, it was great to work with you on this, my friend.
the waves take me on a journey where I’m lulled into a sense of security and notes like gentle hands wash over me, I am amazed and quiet, there is nothing remaining above the surface, a breath and I’m underneath, the seaweed, coral, clown fish are brighter than above-days, my heart is pounding ecstatically, once well-rested, there’s so much to take in, to see.
engineered cobwebs from entangled jellyfish limbs, mesmerising affray, dilating metamorphic, fluid heads, bodies, passing my very way, I become at peace with this sight entranced at their careless might, manners so poignant with each other there’s nothing which escapes my sight; gone under.
And further under, I bury myself in the silt and sand, mischievous with this land, another clown fish passes, then mum and dad. Oranges brighter than witches’ cones, I smile to myself, they entertain, and I know their intent is nothing to amuse, they simply, casually amble, stop, move.
The colours, they always brought me hope, Aura-binding, hue-enhancing, Pink, yellow, blue, green, indigo, But where is the pink, the love I know? I went through life from goals to achievements, Strengths to knowledge, Triumph and growth, But I fell apart, Underlying predisposition, Some of us break at the seams, Myself: undiagnosed manic depressive. Etching large shadowy figures on my Bedroom walls, Self-harm, Tears they would fall, Such joy, elation at some Then tirades I’d turn, Over perfectionism, What was going on…? My warning signs? Even I failed to learn. So begins my tale, Decade-long struggles Horrifying relapses to be
witnessed and unfold Truth be told Not all needs enormous detail… (C) 2022 Lauren M. Hancock poetry and prose. All rights reserved. Image from Pixabay
Artwork by Lin Onus and Mandjad Productions “Michael and I are just slipping down to the pub for a minute” 2000
(c) 2022 Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
water, our life force, as important as the air we breathe, value this we must, nurture it, cherish it, we do, shall, see?
water, an elemental force, her importance, we heed, countering roaring fires, hydrogen and oxygen calm, in part, but citizens harrowed and tired, fled and flee,
forget these moments? never,
we shall not, smoke lingering on the breeze.
we as a nation banded together, and of elements, fire, earth, wind, water, we encountered and employed them, to ignore the strength of these, alone or together, we’d be ignorant, and repeated recollection – nightmarish, awakening, split seams.
then the stagnant life where we were hidden away socialisation limited for our needs, closed work spaces, many months of solitude, from society, away, away!
now, no major flames or tempests fanning another destructive force, no fire-forced movement – “Hades”, pentacle, downward swipe, instead again, lives lost, pictures, memories, animals, remembrances of families, destructed homes, now lakes and rivers overflow… when shall we be saved, when will we know?
but there’s fluidity and a resilience within us all natural disasters will not keep us down we, Australians, are strong and homegrown brave and true, working together we save each other we rise up with others
for bold is our connection with Mother Earth we respect her, we revere her, we are in awe of her its power, her mighty force for the power she provides and the strength and cruelty with which she can decimate, be present, or run and hide.
SCHIZOAFFECTIVITY family can be a strange thing. One minute you’re loved then the next you’re like a pestilence, an unwanted being. Of course, bringing it upon oneself, well, that’s something different, but in the end, I was made the tyrant, laid away on the shelf though only temporarily.
And I suppose, I suppose it is so, this falling-apart thing that happens to my mind when I go temporary awry, momentarily insane, is this the pushing button inside, or on my brain that makes me ill for two closed months when I’m made to be locked away, my words spoken loudly in vain?
I am just a patient, mentally, I have delusions, grand, carried out about the land and while I whine and scream, still want to shine, in my hand a small cup of perilous potions to be sucked down inside.
The system wants to treat, they do it in the best ways they can but some they cannot help people like me initially on medications I feel they burden me, I choke.
There’s nothing different about health these days in fact, there IS, but in time I will realise that some just wanted to help some were happy for me to shine and like the ordinary world, with some others, they wouldn’t pay my words a dime.
I understand I can’t always please, temporarily the medicine makes me want to heave there’s just so much of it, my addled mind, years ago progressed from bipolar to schizoaffective disorder, whilst in my “prime”.
But it’s no longer on my side, my love, and the key, wrong place, wrong inked time, and I need this man, and I guess, perhaps he needs me, too, pity I seem like the fool.
Not as a soulmate, not as a kindred spirit, but just a best friend. Just? Is that not good enough? Maybe it’s not, but it’s the best that I’ll receive? Is this truth? If so, to digest it, it’s rough.
These deeply personal thoughts collect in my head, should not be visually recorded, I should not post nor project but I need to get them down, out, I feel like I’ve cut myself off for a man who even doesn’t recognise my true crown. Not the visual, but the spiritual. The swirling, the colours, all around.
This logical, not even subliminal hurts, I am not in the throes, no, I am not, I need much more, damnit, but how much more can I demand before I’m cut off, no more love, whatever style, from his hand? Complaining? I am more than enough.
I used to be so independent and pretty now I’ve grown dependent, an ugly being, hand-holding baby, where is the prized confidence? Where am I now?
Kookaburras sing their laughter, two fighting for acknowledgement, one with the other, and galahs smile with their cheeky beaded eyes winking, oh my! and the lorikeets feast on our figs, damn it! Mum wants to know WHY. Why is it they are so greedy, sitting on the boughs so precious, looking for something delicious for a bird so pretty, one two flew the coup, out the nest, and well, life is just beginning. Slowly, slowly, starstruck, one is startled and soars to hide but her presence is noted, taken, assessed and made begotten, wondering what did she do to be ignored by hand holding little buttons?
There is the cryptic and here within are the clues, of life we must undertake many different, many hues, I am certain that there will be challenges, here now I acknowledge the twittering magpies who always stay home with their children, and knowing their loyalty, I know our pills must be taken in order for the positive side of myself to inevitably be spoken and seen.
im running from the light sometimes it burns it sears my retinas im running from the light its too good to take, these prophets, seers
i don’t need their hints at fate which aren’t even accurate as of late I can determine my own cloud witness this I’ma tempt and leap all bounds
I want to explore the darkness trail in shadows but still exist in light a dichotomy of reasons, new tomorrows in which I aim to take both sides with flight with light with fight
the shadows treasure me hereon in they know I know what it means to sin but the stagnancy of these fails to pour in I don’t need heredity circumstance I have no need for falsity I am here and now I am visible low or highbrow
I don’t care to run any longer the past is not worth a shard a victim’s mentality arriving on a birthday ever so early gravitated armour shaded malignancy
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose 
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