Month: March 2020

  • Poem: Sticky Gems – 31/03/20

    Poem: Sticky Gems – 31/03/20

    I jolt awake,
    back into the night,
    where I wearily breathe and pad around the kitchen and hallways 
    without any sense of brightness or light.
     
    Sleepily, I guzzle liquids,
    after all, I crave them,
    strangely,
    must it be due to the medication once forcefully fed to me?
     
    I press myself to stay awake but 
    the effort is too much, 
    I crawl back into bed,
    there’s a soft rustling,
    a half-asleep groaning,
    oh dear, my insomnia
    has awakened him.
     
    I cannot help my medical condition,
    it is appearing to rear its ugly head,
    the precipitation of an outburst of my other condition,
    my positive yet negative malady?
     
    I shut my eyes,
    I tell myself it’s only for a moment,
    then roused all of a sudden:
    where am I?
    It feels as though another continent.
     
    Desperately, I call out for Mother,
    my pleas are like sticky gems from the oceans and earth,
    waiting to be accepted and acknowledged,
    recognised perhaps, but not until the end of process.
     
    I call and call
    but I cannot find her,
    perhaps she’s around the corner,
    giggling with a close friend,
    why, what mirth with that other,
     
    And my father is watching protectively to the side,
    making certain nothing untoward happens,
    because in one fell swoop the world can change,
    this I’ve sadly discovered.
     
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Image by Aline Ponce from Pixabay
    

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  • Prose Poetry: The Stormy Sky – 28/03/20

    Prose Poetry: The Stormy Sky – 28/03/20

    I sit by my window and stare at the sky. There is nothing more beautiful in this very moment that I can capture, nothing else which can cause my heart to swell with appreciation. The clouds, they gather in wisps and blobs – light though, they are – they have this sort of moodiness about them, this white and grayness culminating in the distance.
    
    I am pleased with my seated position, for here I can observe that which I wish to, the land of kingdoms above, and the land below, that which we are blessed to walk upon. I smile to myself at knowing that one day, I will be permitted to enter the kingdom above, a knowledge that makes me feel such warmth inside, I cannot adequately describe the feeling. 
    
    Thus, I relax, and observe, and suddenly two gulls pass by and through my vision. The sea is such a calming place, even when the wind is gusting and the nearby sand dunes are throwing speckles of sand onto the skin of my face, I still can appreciate it, I am glad that I live here. These gulls are a sign of hope: they are out foraging, no doubt. They are alive and well, just as we are, within our isolated worlds. It is a necessity to be alone sometimes, and I know that this precious time can be taken to understand and hold gratitude toward everything positive presented to me in life. Even the negative, I surmise, because these experiences have taught me lessons.
    
    I continue to stare at the sky, the clouds now gathering angrily: cumulus, fierce, dark. It is as though they are forewarning of a time when my mind will grow stormy, the thoughts clouded in my crammed mind. Sometimes there are too many, they stagnate within my skull, washing away the peace and tranquillity which was originally there to be felt and observed.
    
    And suddenly, through the open pane, the first smell of rain permeates into my nostrils, that deep soil-like odour, mixed with the humidity of the pavement. I relish this scent; I have cherished it from years prior, during my childhood where it reminded me of the pre-empting of some of the most glorious and appreciated downpours ever to be seen. I wish to dance in the rain, you see. Unfortunately, this cannot be.
    
    Instead, I watch a new pair of birds soar and duck and dive, their forms so delightfully wonderful, streamlined and sheer perfection. Sometimes I wish I were one of those birds, if only for a moment. I could fly to my heart’s content, and never feel the need to further understand my yearning for it. But in a few seconds, they are gone, and I am left with their vision in my mind’s eye. Their freedom mimics that which beats within my heart, a desire, a yearning, for freedom outside the closed doors.
    
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.   
    Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay 

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  • Poem: Forever – 26/03/20

    Draw me closer,
    it may be the last time for a while,
    feel my skin brush against yours
    and our smiles within grow wider.
     
    Understand that that is not goodbye
    but “I will see you soon”,
    my darling, you must know
    the energy of your loving heart can fill any room.
     
    The heart can project so much more than mere words can,
    I will always wait for you,
    and you for I,
    we will be together again soon.
     
    Need not tremble with the knowledge that 
    the separation is for an indeterminate time,
    know that we can remain in each other’s lives,
    in so many ways,
     
    We are and still will be 
    eternally entwined.
    
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Image by Pexels from Pixabay

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  • My First Poem on Ephemeral Elegies: ‘The Former Famines’

    My First Poem on Ephemeral Elegies: ‘The Former Famines’

    My first poem titled ‘The Former Famines’ has been published on Ephemeral Elegies, which details some difficult periods I experienced throughout my early adulthood and beyond.

    Here is an excerpt:

     There were times when I ate nothing but
     plumes of poisoned smog for days on end.
     I’d avoid anything heavy or even meagrely there,
     to place a mere morsel in my mouth was something
     too tempting and somehow undignified,
     something forbidden,
      
     leading to:
     a loss of control,
     frenzied ingestion,
     then disgust with myself —
     reaching for a dose so potent it equated to poison.
    
    Continue reading at Ephemeral Elegies...

    Image by lisa870 from Pixabay

  • Poem: These Unknown Times – 26/03/20

    Poem: These Unknown Times – 26/03/20

    In these unknown times,
    where regulations reign to keep us safe,
    we stay home,
    we rest,
    we recoup,
    we pray to God that we will get through this biological affray.
     
    Burrowed down in our blankets,
    our eyes plastered to the laptop screens,
    watching the news with great earnest, 
    what is going on?
    How will this eventuate?
    What does this all mean?
     
    How will we survive when daily our lives are at risk
    and humankind is anything but unscathed? 
    We await with apprehension
    while some are blasé about the rules
    they go out,
    they socialise,
    themselves they gather without guilt.
     
    Selfish and ignorant are such types,
    but what can we do?
    We are right for staying in,
    it is our method of isolation,
    our following of instructions,
    the immovable truth,
     
    A means that surely will slow the rate down,
    of the infection taking as many as it can,
    to those undisciplined voyagers,
    I sadly say, 
    all the best to you,
    for us all, protect yourselves and remain strong.
     
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Image by Валерия Шарагина from Pixabay

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  • Poem: Damsel in Distress – 22/03/20

    Poem: Damsel in Distress – 22/03/20

    I used to be a damsel in distress,
    I called and called to them,
    to assist me with my longing heart,
    yet all of them decided to leave.
     
    I worked so hard on being that
    which portrayed what I felt was visual worth,
    without understanding that what mattered 
    was not essentially looks
    but a kind, warm, and caring heart.
     
    Others stared as I went on by,
    my chest filled with pride 
    at knowing that I had drawn their eyes,
    but what I didn’t realise was that 
    I was only striking for a second,
    perhaps when I opened my mouth I’d lose their attention.
     
    In distress was I, 
    I wanted to be known,
    acknowledged,
    accepted,
    to be understood,
    to receive the gratification that came with being wanted,
    the validation I'd glean inside.
     
    However, the turnstiles kept turning,
    and the admirers kept disappearing,
    only there for a few fleeting seconds,
    I became more daring.
     
    Then underneath it all,
    I slowly realised
    that I needed to work on myself,
    not on the outer, exterior view,
    what mattered was my mind.
     
    My inner truths,
    the way I would treat mankind,
    and the most important things of all were love
    and the fact that I was grateful,
    that I was still breathing,
    despite the haphazard, lethal points in my life.
    
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Photo by Alice Alinari on Unsplash

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  • Poem: No Matter What – 19/03/20

    Poem: No Matter What – 19/03/20

    I am rounder
    but I am happy,
    the streamlined silhouette once paraded
    has become modest at long last.
    
    Need I quarrel with myself?
    Discuss that which displeases me?
    No!
    I am stronger than this,
    the crumbling of that petty yet insidious disease
    which will no longer triumph above all else.
     
    I punished myself – ah!
    Self-persecuted mind and body,
    this was what it was all about.
     
    But now,
    I am rounder
    and I am happy,
    I am prone to breaking out 
    into song and celebratory dance.
     
    The draconian measures of self-punishment,
    to be others' fancy, starring light has long gone,
    I am myself,
    peculiar and particular
    throughout the day and night,
    I am unique,
    I am one.
     
    I am myself 
    and I am worthy,
    no matter what size I have become.
    
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Image by 6563351 from Pixabay

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  • Poem: Salted Iridescence – 18/03/20

    Poem: Salted Iridescence – 18/03/20

    The taste of salt upon your skin,
    the glistening iridescence
    as I feel your glow within,
    the sun shining through your being
    as though warming my very soul,
    like the heated taste of winter when
    you and I were eternally enthralled.
     
    I can feel the gurgling of growing gumption
    from within your soaring spirit,
    rising from the former desolation within,
    and I know,
    you know,
    that we will remain entwined,
    as long as we stay heart-to-heart,
    forever in need of each other’s fair wine.
     
    Our necessity to be close to one another
    has the sharp addictive taste of that salt
    that I once tasted on your skin,
    and if I were to magnify this need
    I would understand that it comes from
    a state of savoury and lack of sweetness,
    a desire to cause that salivary moment,
    to keep it stirring,
     
    And while I knead into the skin of the
    effervescent sparkle that you bring,
    I know,
    honey, you know,
    that we were always meant to be.  
    
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock (including illustration). All rights reserved.

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  • Poem: Panic – 16/03/20

    Poem: Panic – 16/03/20

    Panic mode,
    the shelves stripped bare,
    triumphant shoppers walk with their prized packets of eighteen toilet paper rolls,
    the luxurious purple Quilton brand.
     
    We have already rushed from your home,
    with few moments to spare,
    the opening time has already occurred,
    there are barely any essential products there.
     
    Hastily, you grab the items from the shelf,
    long-life, of course,
    why would we deal with anything else?
    
    For we have been encouraged to purchase ahead for two weeks,
    the panic,
    the panic ensues,
    ensures that we here in the supermarket,
    at this usually sleepy hour.
     
    Seven in the morning is now its busiest,
    when the visitors will arrive,
    the peak of scanning,
    the competitive nature rises within shoppers,
    perhaps all shelves of essential items will be stripped in time.
     
    We are even more fearful of handling money,
    of being within another’s close proximity,
    we purchase hand sanitiser,
    believing it will purge the virus from our skin,
    we wash and wash,
    but on occasions, the virus will be silently welcomed in.
     
    Our systems were not made for this,
    this is a pandemic,
    do you hear me?
     
    We need to take precautions,
    self-isolate when required,
    only leave the house when needed,
    avoid close quarters with others.
     
    And the ideal situation has commenced,
    the virus is winning at this fact,
    we are together, yet away from one another,
    fearful of something which we cannot see
    but which, if caught,
    could cause saddening fatalities,
    need we stay away from all others?
    
    The question remains: 
    how will we combat this insidious virus, 
    this society-killing disease?
        
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

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  • Prose Poetry: The Realm: An Exploration – 14/03/20

    Prose Poetry: The Realm: An Exploration – 14/03/20

    Since the dawn of time, we have existed. And breathing out fire and brimstone are the ones below us, but we live on a middle plane, known as Earth, where soil is beneath our feet and the endless sky is a twinkling seascape in our curious, admiring eyes.
     
    The singed beings, they wish to harm us, to draw us into their world, of fire, smoke, of fire, smoke, until all our brittle bones will cry out NO MORE! And everyone, hands held in a circle, crumble to the ground. Only some will rise, and the others will remain face-down, unable to snatch that moment, that last breath of life, that fleeting air, because they could not rewind. We can never go back in time, what is done is done, it is dusted. It is history, as I call to the little returning memories which niggle in my ear, in my head, in my eyes, as I recall those confusing moments – did they mean something? Had something occurred, or really, not even at all?
     
    I confront these sizzling, smoky demons, stopping them, now stagnant, in their tracks. What they do not know won’t hurt them, this I understand to be true, because these cold, unfeeling beings are exactly that: emotionless and malicious. They enter dreams and make me toss and turn and bore holes into my heart until I feel the dire attack, and that there is nothing left within my former safety, due to their ability to arm.
    
    I manage to walk up to one, my face inches from his, and I hiss and hiss because this is the language that they are familiar with. And now he laughs, he cackles, he is unmoved by my display and with a sense of cruel poetic injustice he bites my thick thigh, inserting his poison. How I adore the chill as it enters my muscle, those two puncturing fangs. Though I know this can only mean certain death, I relish the coldness entering. Strangely, it makes me feel alive.
     
    He then removes his weapons from my skin and carries on, passing by. I am left to handle my damaged outer and slowly disintegrating inner layers which burn and itch incredibly. I am left unknowing what to do, unknowing how to handle this vile situation. But, it seems that this is meant to be my fate. I lay down and shudder, cold and hot chills, there may not be a second left to waste. I huddle into a ball, attempting to retain the remaining heat I have within my form, and lull myself to sleep with pleasant images in my mind, my wanted dreams, my dispelling of those nightmares which perpetually plagued.
     
    With a sense of melodramatic finality, I heave my final breath, my ostentatious sigh, and pass into the spirit world, where I can finally access the information I would like. I am here and now, yet not here, and this is something I must contend with, between worlds, floating, my body upon the ground, my spirit rising, free. I will return to myself soon, but I am yet to explore this new realm presented unto me.
     
    At this current moment, I am the only one permitted entry. I silently thank the being who harmed me, for he allowed something great to transpire. This opportunity I will not allow to pass me by. I will connect with my past beings, with knowledge and gracious gratitude, and a feeling of fine ardour.
     
    © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock All rights reserved.
    Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

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