How to explain away an error when my intention was not cruel? How to apologise when my memory’s retention simply wasn’t running so smooth? How to insist I didn’t mean any offence when the point made was that I just didn’t understand? Honest and truthful, and by my own, not another’s devices, I feel one true lacking of mine has been brought to hand. I want to explain away the memory slip, that simply because I didn’t understand, that because I did not recall, doesn’t mean that I don't appreciate his work and this witty man, that with my mind constantly being plagued by doubts and critical thoughts of myself, and wondering whether I am right within this written world, that sometimes my own insecurities can override my capacity to remember every word written by someone other than me. I can’t always remember what I had on my toast in the morning, I can’t quite remember whether I left the light on in my second room in the evening, I can’t seem to recall exactly how a certain name is pronounced, often let alone what it was, I need to clarify some facts, their ordering, with another, because sometimes others recall specific facts better. I may be on the ball with most things, I may recall turns of phrases, or another’s habits or their privately revealed feelings, I may remember which spices to put into your tea, but please understand, sometimes there are too many facts to remember for me. I didn’t mean any offence, and I hope none has been taken, that truthfully your words were fact, a wry throw-away expression, I thank you for a lack of admonishment, any upset, or lamentation, because I think, to you, I am known for being kind and wanting the best for you, and I’d not purposefully forget something if I knew it would make pain dire, all in all, I want it to be known that a memory slip was just that, it was not purposeful, it was not called for, I just forgot. Please understand that. © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved. Photo by Kyaw Tun on Unsplash
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