carry on carry on
there is no time to regret
past mistakes are mere moments
take them with a grain of salt
nothing more they’re already spent
learnt lesson learning lessons yearning for more
in a while
because what is suffering is my heart
aching heart
for quite some time
with many a-frantic style
carry on dearest
there is nothing to fear
look forth for something sparkling
to focus your dreary eyes near
because you deserve that light in your eyes
the widened delight
god knows I was suffering many eons
many plights
just to meet my match
my path my past all down the drain
in fright? No, I will wrangle my memories
and set them alight
spent many hours weeks years
detailing this fight
this desperation
for someone to complete me
but here’s the crux of the suffering
I am here already
I am me
I don’t need to reach a hand out
to clasp another
to airily dream
to encapsulate me with this ambiguous other
for time, precious time
so much was wasted chasing mice not men
and then underneath the surface
were cataclysmic moments
but why ponder
why go under?
trudge forth
no, fly free,
being the best that I can be
and then I’ll announce myself as ready,
ready for the world to see
well, I’m already prepared, perhaps already there
it’s the journeying that means this much
so ever much to me.
(14/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Alexandru Acea on Unsplash
Author: Lauren M. Hancock
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Poem and Spoken Word: carry on – 14/11/21
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Poem/Spoken Word: insomniac – 15/11/21
never again will I allow myself
to fall upon the railway sleepers
walking insomniac nightly
anything but a daydreamer
eyes wide, hollowed, intrigued, not:
I will follow the path of rightness –aliveness and damnation? NO
attack that silence and go.
zombified, staring at the keys
pretending to be straight when my intent
is bent
sniggering to myself
boy am I so clever
im going under
into the depths of my distress
and I would smile
because the outcome
it’s what I ached for all the while
risking shuddering intentionally pondering
conundrum on the surface
and complexities within
insomniac insomniac what do you feel
when you glance within
take a squiz
sip of gin
spit out that poison
I don’t need to taste it
the only poison I need
is yours and mine
to feel so vibrant
to feel so alive.
(14/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.Previous Post: carry on – 14/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: rise sprite rise – 13/11/21
lightly lightly sprite
take your time
fly, soar, your flight
is delayed
but it is so warranted,
you’re finally here
rising above the trees
the blossoms into the skies so sweetly
and so you ride the atmospheric dreams.
your heart is bursting, full
for you have announced your intention
to live with graciousness and wildness
both extroversion of your abilities
to be beautiful internally and outwardly
you know that nothing truly matters
but the moment
this moment
this moment itself
for like a butterfly you’ve those
three days of freedom
to be whatever you please —
flit amongst the breeze
and to be, to be, to be
sprite become lightness
amazing in your abilities
your self-belief is uniquely pure
and its come as greatly as you pleased
but you worked hard for it
for this fleeting occasion
treasure it will you in your dear heart
admirable is your dedication
yourself, your life, your self-improvements,
your strength, your resilience
became so much more than
you ever dreamed you would be
and now, let the waves be ridden
the blustering breeze be strong
around your hair
fairy wings,
be prepared, World,
for you are finally there.
(13/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Mimipic Photography on UnsplashPrevious Post: uncontrollable – 12/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: uncontrollable – 13/11/12
the uncontrollable nature
as the shades begin to groan
blossom apparently in fruition
but aching in a row
floral paper-maché, delicate yet growing stronger
i cannot hold myself together
unlike the kaleidoscope
i succumb i fall under
what is left but my wavering resolve
shaking with anticipation
my heart it aches it moans
it’s existing in the screaming drivel of itself
to annihilate everything before me
i want need have to delvethe brightness of the blooms are belligerent
with their cheery disposition
contradictory in nature to my demeanour
i cannot begin to fathom
the aftermath
the dangers
what am i doing to myself
i wonder
is there any intention or point in analysing
sheer contemplation?
place these moments away high on the shelf.
(12/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Painting by Lauren M, Hancock, copyright 2021Previous Post: defining explosion 2.0 – 12/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: defining explosion 2.0 – 12/11/21
aching for the goodness
you’ll bring to me
announcing the catastrophe if you won’t
need me
the bitterness on my tastebuds
if you’ll admit my presence you do
not need me
fancy self-sabotage
get down on my damned knees.
this is not to say that
I cannot cope
with the rejections presented but a reflection
of past scope
fell apart at the click of a heart
my pace
my face
my stay?
unwarranted,
underdevelopment of emotions underway.
but I am stronger now
what is the point in hanging on
to individuals who take me for granted
boy, I’m raring to go
into the future, into the present
of someone something new
don’t add delirium
I’ll forsake it
because that’s not part of my
plan I wish to do
obsession and preoccupation
with another can definitely remain its
own way,
begone begone
sprightly in your approach, dear
because times have already changed.
(12/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Drew Colins on UnsplashPrevious Post: Wild Dance – 11/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: wild dance – 11/11/21
I dance with my heart in the moon’s mouth
he treasures it gently,
carries it lightly
never will he drop it
because he is divining surely
total ineptitude
I sit here hands open wide
and smile
give me my heart back
I speak with earnest
he shakes his head a little while
and sighs
and relinquishes as he views
my desperation
to once again be in pure contemplation
in recipient of my beating heart
filled with fervour and pace
like a startled rabbit
I need it
I want it
he hands it to me
reinsertion:
my heart begins to race
what is this feeling I have
this flighty adrenaline life
the moon the moon give me a
look so wise
i was merely looking after your heart
making you feel less alive
so you could live in the undergrowth
of your contentment and strong strive
(11/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Marek Piwnicki on UnsplashPrevious Post: changes – 10/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: changes – 10/11/21
I sing to the gods for they provide sustenance
nectar sweet, lustrous
twinkling, sparkling, flowing wine,
don’t touch my tongue though
without alteration I’ll be fine
I love that life can promise so much
if you seek it
positive attitude
the goodness flows through me
the gods and goddesses smile at me
upon me their expressions are the same
proud, joyous that I’ve come so far
darkness grew so old
had to be tamed
I warble with my daily tasks
look forward to completing even menial things
without being asked
it’s such a lightness I feel within
now that I appreciate so much more
dare I say everything?
untoward may be certain moments
but I can look at them without tainted eyes, thoughts,
they no longer conjoin with my mindset
I turn my thinking around
appreciate what there is to gain
from times that do not initially please
because appreciating what is being presented
sometimes takes a little twisting.
I feel the warmth radiate within my heart
rare are times of mood swings or upsets
non showy
not up in arms
I am simply living life in a pleasant way
because I’m happy with myself
much more than those yesterdays.
changes came when I paved my way.
(10/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Alex Perez on UnsplashPrevious Post: steely gorges – 10/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: steely gorges – 10/11/21
bombastic
the moment is fantastique
when I shudder with deep peace
it’s overall amazing
but consequences consequences
of this goddamned show
pantomime the pleasure, suffering,
will I watch it go?
I acknowledge it is worthy of being much adored
the events forthcoming
unexpected
yet awaited
something silently asked, yearned for
it’s inherently palatable
this desire we can call home
but indulgences in memorandum are dangerous
won’t we desire them less? No, let the heart roam.
brightened sets of eyes sharing the same thoughts
hands extended, belly-fire,
knowing we are each other ours,
to find that other
to share the feelings
the same desire
perspirations
knowingly
entered into sufferings
because together they don’t seem
too harsh, abrasive, in the end
consequences are now like a steely dance
consumption of the knowing urge is like
icing on soft gorges
the curvatures on your back allows me to
slide and slip away
let me lick the air of delicate understanding,
share our moments for another day.
(09/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Anna Tarazevich on UnsplashPrevious Post: Control – 09/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: Control – 09/11/21
positively bursting
bursting at the seams
who thought a mindless act like this
could whisper many dreams?
aching at the midriff
yet calling, wanting more
short-term fervour
temporary gratification
reach into that cupboard:
what’s in store?
I know it’s unwise to continue,
to carry on with this mission of sorts
but nutritionally body is craving it
dying for it
is this the truth? Perhaps not yet,
I’m not so sure.
caught up in the haze of the moment
confusion as I reach, shovel,
satiation refuses to reign,
so many months,
so many hours,
unravelling hard work,
but, required all the same.
it’s not so frequent but it is becoming more prominent
my resolve my stoic nature is beginning to soften
I tell myself, it’s fine, a once-off,
will rectify damage the next day,
self-absorption not, but obsession where I lay.
numbers tracked logged
today I must take off
there’s little point in detailing
when today my mission is a failure, failing
cannot stop myself
I don’t want to even try
it’s become something I do
second nature
and for certain others viewing
a plaintive tear in the corner of their eyes.
improvement is possible
if that’s the way I wanted it
but what I deem important and a benefit
is different from those coming from Wellness
it’s a matter of perspective
it’s a matter of my urge
it’s a matter of what drives me
and for me, continuing feels like a surge
lightning rods of control coursing through
my veins
my heart is adamant
pinpointed eyes the focus within my brain
I will continue on because it is what drives me
I am compelled
I must control, control
and this is my urge,
today’s downfall hopefully is just a spell,
it shouldn’t happen for a while,
stop, I implore.
(09/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Joshua Fuller on UnsplashPrevious Post: self-worth – 09/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
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Poem: self-worth – 09/11/21
honestly
but metaphorically speaking
I won’t take the high road that they think
is coming
I’ll continue to work hard
true grit
correct technique
be assured that I won’t take shortcuts
there’s no point in doing so.
I have to watch myself and treasure the miles ahead and
respect myself,
and not allow others to disrespect
or not take heed of the fact that I am
deserving
needing
worthy
precious
special
don’t walk over me
don’t tread upon me
downtrodden I will not be
it’s not their way but what needs to suit me
it’s not selfish to make sure that
the decisions I make are right for my life
my health
my mental state
don’t denigrate me, ignore me,
think I’m available last minute
here and now, later, or provide loose excuses
this and that,
I have learned my worth over the years
I am not a mouse being played with cats
toyed with, pawed at, ending in disaster
no, I won’t allow it any longer.
if I’m truly treasured by others, wanted in their lives
they’ll show this in ways that exhibit care, concern,
nothing to leverage, nothing to manipulate,
for them to gain,
no, our relationships, friendships, mutually beneficial
intentions all the same.
this is why I hold only certain ones close
these days I have discerned
I decided that enough was enough
that I am not to be treated like a piece of dirt
but with love, feeling, heart and soul.
I treasure my ones with equal love.
(08/11/21)
Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash
Previous Post: recovery – 08/11/21
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose 
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