By Alice Well (LMH) (c)
It was a marriage of questionable convenience, the woman promised to her blender, preloaded with the goodness of a whole carrot, at the cessation of their nuptials, he knew where to send her.
The greengrocer held his palm across his sweaty face, when he saw this woman grabbing every piece of fruit and veggie in his store, everything was snatched away from their ordered place. Frantically she grabbed, left, right and centre, even one, almost unseen squashed black stinking banana.
“He can blend real good, he can blend reaaaaalll nice,” was her working motto and mantra. Why did she marry a blender? This is a peculiar story I have to tell you.
This women had an overt obsession with health, and an unhealthy obsession with maintaining her weight herself. Often she’d go on juice fasts, the longest had been twenty days, with no solids, only liquified fruit and vege, she would cleanse her unhealthy days away.
She was also obsessed with gym, and it was here she met her true love, the Blender formally known simply as Gin, a singular word. He had once had a lover named Tonic, and each lazy Sunday they would blend themselves, intertwine and smile, downing alcoholic beverage upon beverage, their love was known to last for many a while.
But Blender longed for someone far healthier, someone who would take care of themselves not only his heart and beats to drowsily, dreamily blur. He desired someone proactive in their health and themselves and suddenly he stumbled upon her, at the squat racks, wiping away sweat from herself.
She shyly glanced upward, their eyes met in a burning moment, “Hi, I’m Blender, nice to meet ya,” and he offered his hand to be shaken while he continued to speak. His gym knowledge and fruitarian lifestyle understanding was impressive to this woman, soon to be his bride to be, they were fierce together, electric, their words a melded symphony from heaven.
Over time, during their marriage, Blender began to wonder at the state of mind his wife lived in, he really began to ponder. Did she need help with her suspected issues, someone professional to talk to at least? But no, at this suggestion she would not bend, all she’d do was blend, blend, blend.
But as she became more comfortable in her relationship and circumstances, she began to put on a little more weight and use the gym facility less, and now she found out she was with child, what a glorious day, a future human-appliance child, weren’t they so blessed! How she wept when Cucie arrived, named after her favourite veg to blend, her life was now on track: love, health, family, personal wealth. There was no need to be tormented by inner demons anymore.
© 2019 Alice Well Art, Lauren M. Hancock, also known as Alice Well. All rights reserved.