Preparation and anxiety
will I be good enough, can they, will they see?
Can’t they understand that this is a mere portion of me?
Will they judge this slice of myself I’ve allowed them to hold, made myself free?
For interest’s sake of understanding myself,
I’ve had to type and analyse myself,
not the present but the past,
it is how the foundations knew
how to be rise forth
from my prior despair and gloom.
It is not a refection of my current self,
it is not a mirror image of how I’d be, left upon the shelf,
the documentation is a detailing of facts and feelings,
emotions and dealings,
and my god,
I scraped through hell for this material.
I now lie in bed,
grasping the sheets of paper tight to my chest
as I stare blankly at the ceiling.
perhaps I will be good enough, after all.
© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Evelyn Clement on Unsplash
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