I wish I could write of beauty and wonder, and perfection, if it existed, but I don’t believe I have it within me, my words come out as harsh and grating. Instead, my confessionals are here to behold, laid out upon the table, endless pages scattered, ink haphazardly scrawled. Some stains are crimson, [...]
I don’t remember precisely what it feels like because when one is psychotic, a patient can be so utterly unwell. But I will attempt, I will try to recall, for the sake of this exercise I will do my best to delve and reveal all. What I do know is the creative juices flow, [...]
Don’t tell me why. Don’t avoid the how. Reveal the when. Tell me now. I must hear it. I’m telling you, you must breathe it, speak your whole truth. I beg of you: Why did you leave? Each time I saw you, afterwards, silence lingering. A hollow yawning, gaping in my chest, [...]
I have experienced this before and triumphed. I have ridden the tempestuous waves and reigned freely. I have arisen from the waking dead and become full of life, now an ability to see, to breathe. I have lived, and I have learned, and this is what I wish to be seen.
I don’t think it’s pertinent to share all. I don’t believe it is wise to give everything away; this is something I need to inherently grasp and know. Because throwing precious hurt and gnarled knots of hardened truth, for revelation’s sake, for honesty, for letting go, and giving it all away, it no longer always [...]
I am appalled, I have failed to secure or retain a personal connection, a fallen notion, an untidy, needy calling. Why does my desire to be considered, to be seen without trigger exist, a stifling need woven like poison ivy around a body and mind so disheartened?
I am blessed here, in a home so warm and loving, no matter if it’s empty, aside from myself, I can feel the love lingering, it is forthcoming. It reaches, grabs hold like little hungry fingers would reach for a snack or chocky milk, enveloping around me, arms tight and strong and true,
As I sit down to write, my muscles ease, feet arrange neatly into place, my fingers at the ready. This is my time, where I will shine with tendrils of arrangements that are written not only for me, but for others, too, I don’t simply write for myself, I have a sense of duty to them, for from within me, like a geyser I expel my truths.
Audio: Disordered Order Whom do I spy in the looking glass when I envelope myself? I warmly wear the blanket of my past reflection, she’s sadly a proud yet broken identity forcefully dragged from my past’s dusty shelf. I understand the meaning of, the truth behind visual fact, my reflection possesses an ability to [...]
Audio: What to Feel. Can I feel the moment? This fateful occasion heralding? When I realise that things have been growing and stirring, how this is not how the interior was once mapped, the scanning reveals a foreboding view. I am astounded, into fearfulness I’ve been slapped, my duty of care to myself [...]