The ambient music is comforting,
soothing unto my soul,
it makes me rise along with it,
and when the melody sinks with satisfaction,
my heartbeat ebbs,
I relish these special times I have
to appreciate the music in my abode,
where I am left quietly,
No noisy interruptions,
no untoward commotions,
just me and my heart beating,
with joy, oh, such joy.
I’ve never felt so serene,
and I’m doing this simply as I please,
I am at ease,
I am relaxed,
it’s so nice to not feel the agitation and anger,
disquieting at that.
The internal cacophonies have finally ceased,
there are no danger zones left for me
to navigate, even if I pleased,
for inside, I am calm,
it has taken me so long,
to come to terms with the
noisiness that was hurting
Why was I unsettled?
Why such internal rage and anger?
the lashing out at others,
feeling dissatisfaction with my life:
it seemed a permanent fixture.
But now, now,
I feel both motivated and at peace,
at finally truly making something of myself,
the times I ardently strove for success had seemed
so far in the past
that replication never seemed something I could dream of,
or could personally seek.
I am stronger,
and I feel the serenity sink into my muscles,
into my bones,
and make itself at home,
I am finally at peace,
and there is no need to feel anything less
than – within my skin –
perfectly at home.
© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Saad Chaudhry on Unsplash
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