Poem: An Awakening – 21/09/20

The ambient music is comforting,
soothing unto my soul,
it makes me rise along with it,
and when the melody sinks with satisfaction,
my heartbeat ebbs,
it flows.

I relish these special times I have
to appreciate the music in my abode,
where I am left quietly,
contemplatively,
to myself.

No noisy interruptions,
no untoward commotions,
just me and my heart beating,
eyes brightened,
with joy, oh, such joy.

I’ve never felt so serene,
and I’m doing this simply as I please,
I am at ease,
I am relaxed,
it’s so nice to not feel the agitation and anger,
disquieting at that.

The internal cacophonies have finally ceased,
there are no danger zones left for me
to navigate, even if I pleased,
for inside, I am calm,
it has taken me so long,
to come to terms with the
noisiness that was hurting
my soul.

Why was I unsettled?
Why such internal rage and anger?
The self-hatred,
the lashing out at others,
feeling dissatisfaction with my life:
it seemed a permanent fixture.

But now, now,
I feel both motivated and at peace,
at finally truly making something of myself,
my life,
the times I ardently strove for success had seemed
so far in the past
that replication never seemed something I could dream of,
reach for,
or could personally seek.

Now, now,
I am stronger,
and I feel the serenity sink into my muscles,
into my bones,
and make itself at home,
I am finally at peace,
and there is no need to feel anything less
than – within my skin –
perfectly at home.

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Saad Chaudhry on Unsplash

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