Poem: Jacob’s Wings – 06/07/20

Your wings were ready
but we were not,
we should have felt
prepared for this day,
 
for months we
insisted that you
remain with us,
were we so selfish
each time we decided
you should stay?
 
Those fateful, family discussions
which ended with:
Save Jacob!
With us, he must remain.
 
Your sad eyes quietly suffered,
your bloated, lethargic body
laid sprawled on the porch,
 
each morning and evening
your advanced Cushing’s disease
required invasive, pain-controlling shots.
 
We couldn’t let you go,
but you begged,
silently cried
for freedom,
 
to slip away
from this world,
far from your suffering,
 
we insisted a little longer in
our lives you must remain,
we loved you,
saying goodbye so soon?
There was no way.
 
Your elderly state,
your debilitating illness,
your immense pain,
the accompanying afflictions,
as a family pet you’d been
so good to us,
and now we
would not let you leave.
 
But for all your suffering,
there came the time
when we
realised and acknowledged
that with future wings
you must be
allowed to roam free,
 
your wings were
almost ready,
but our hearts
still ached for you
not to leave.
 
And as I stared
into your beautiful, deep brown,
understanding eyes,
I held your paw
as the green calming fluid
took hold of you,
 
my darling, 
my sweet, brave Jacob,
my loving companion before me,

who comforted me through
hell and heaven,
finally at peace,
 
our tears continued to well,
hysterical, guttural wails,
our world now bare,
lost without you,
 
my two younger brothers and I left alone
in this stark grey, private room:
utterly broken, crestfallen, despairing.

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Personal photos. 

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