Prose Poetry: Divulging This – 21/07/20

I don’t think it’s pertinent to share all. I don’t believe it is wise to give everything away; this is something I need to inherently grasp and know. Because throwing precious hurt and gnarled knots of hardened truth, for revelation’s sake, for honesty, for letting go, and giving it all away, it no longer always seems the right thing to do. But, I am who I am, and I will continue providing my hopes, my pain, my anguish, my joys to the wind, in the hopes that when these whisper, the conjoining of their pitches and hisses, perhaps I’ll truly understand how I was meant to be, to have lived a life free of err and sin, without selfish exploration and untidy needs. And try to understand: who would I have been if I had achieved these?

I will tell you this, I’ll continue to share, and these moments and opportunities seem always there; they will stoically sit, before me, before us all, because I’ve already jigged a jig, flamboyantly swept my form, sung my ballads, cast my hurt in the direction of the audience’s rows. The shrill, the unseemly, the affected, the melodies, strewn before you painfully, sometimes pitifully, I bare myself to you, my soul is on show. I’ve given and I’ve shared, and though I felt better for it, perhaps it’s not actually wise, is it, to divulge every single piece of it…

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

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5 Comments

  1. It can be tough. I often post something and then adjust the settings to make it private. On reflection I’m not sure quite where the line is between exposing myself too much and being less than honest about myself. I do know that I probably err on the side of over-exposure.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I completely understand. Although I’ve only made one post private, from recollection, I have internally struggled as to whether something is ‘too much’ for me to have put out. With regards to over-exposure, I feel it is something commendable, because it is complete honesty and vulnerability, revealed to the core.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have the same ‘problem’. How much do you expose of your inner self on a world stage to an unknown audience? I guess it comes down to a matter of trust. Trust that this unknown audience will not take advantage of you. We expose ourselves for various reasons. Cathartic for our own healing. To let others with the same problem know they are not alone. To encourage them to also have the courage to speak out. To educate and raise community awareness.

    To do this requires courage but once you start speaking out it is surprising how people begin to support and empathise. And despite baring my inner self on a world stage to an unknown audience for over two years I have never once had anyone take advantage of me….Just the opposite.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It is hard, I have found. Wondering, how has the audience taken my revelations, are they thinking poorly of me? Do they think I am peculiar? Then there comes the time when you share and realise you don’t mind what is thought of you, because you’re doing it for yourself, this catharsis, as we know it. Sharing does cause a certain closeness between one and the reader though, I feel, and draws them nearer together because in essence, you are showing truly who and what you are, without fear, without fright.

      Like

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