Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

Tag: blog

  • Poem: uncontrollable – 13/11/12

    Poem: uncontrollable – 13/11/12

    the uncontrollable nature
    as the shades begin to groan
    blossom apparently in fruition
    but aching in a row
    floral paper-maché, delicate yet growing stronger
    i cannot hold myself together
    unlike the kaleidoscope
    i succumb i fall under

    what is left but my wavering resolve
    shaking with anticipation
    my heart it aches it moans
    it’s existing in the screaming drivel of itself
    to annihilate everything before me
    i want need have to delve

    the brightness of the blooms are belligerent
    with their cheery disposition
    contradictory in nature to my demeanour
    i cannot begin to fathom
    the aftermath
    the dangers
    what am i doing to myself
    i wonder
    is there any intention or point in analysing
    sheer contemplation?
    place these moments away high on the shelf.
    (12/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Painting by Lauren M, Hancock, copyright 2021

    Previous Post: defining explosion 2.0 – 12/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: defining explosion 2.0 – 12/11/21

    Poem: defining explosion 2.0 – 12/11/21

    aching for the goodness
    you’ll bring to me
    announcing the catastrophe if you won’t
    need me
    the bitterness on my tastebuds
    if you’ll admit my presence you do
    not need me
    fancy self-sabotage
    get down on my damned knees.

    this is not to say that
    I cannot cope
    with the rejections presented but a reflection
    of past scope
    fell apart at the click of a heart
    my pace
    my face
    my stay?
    unwarranted,
    underdevelopment of emotions underway.

    but I am stronger now
    what is the point in hanging on
    to individuals who take me for granted
    boy, I’m raring to go
    into the future, into the present
    of someone something new
    don’t add delirium
    I’ll forsake it
    because that’s not part of my
    plan I wish to do

    obsession and preoccupation
    with another can definitely remain its
    own way,
    begone begone
    sprightly in your approach, dear
    because times have already changed.
    (12/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Drew Colins on Unsplash

    Previous Post: Wild Dance – 11/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: wild dance – 11/11/21

    Poem: wild dance – 11/11/21

    I dance with my heart in the moon’s mouth
    he treasures it gently,
    carries it lightly
    never will he drop it
    because he is divining surely
    total ineptitude
    I sit here hands open wide
    and smile
    give me my heart back
    I speak with earnest
    he shakes his head a little while
    and sighs

    and relinquishes as he views
    my desperation
    to once again be in pure contemplation
    in recipient of my beating heart
    filled with fervour and pace
    like a startled rabbit
    I need it
    I want it
    he hands it to me
    reinsertion:
    my heart begins to race

    what is this feeling I have
    this flighty adrenaline life
    the moon the moon give me a
    look so wise

    i was merely looking after your heart
    making you feel less alive
    so you could live in the undergrowth
    of your contentment and strong strive
    (11/11/21)

    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash

    Previous Post: changes – 10/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: changes – 10/11/21

    Poem: changes – 10/11/21

    I sing to the gods for they provide sustenance
    nectar sweet, lustrous
    twinkling, sparkling, flowing wine,
    don’t touch my tongue though
    without alteration I’ll be fine

    I love that life can promise so much
    if you seek it
    positive attitude
    the goodness flows through me
    the gods and goddesses smile at me
    upon me their expressions are the same
    proud, joyous that I’ve come so far
    darkness grew so old
    had to be tamed

    I warble with my daily tasks
    look forward to completing even menial things
    without being asked
    it’s such a lightness I feel within
    now that I appreciate so much more
    dare I say everything?

    untoward may be certain moments
    but I can look at them without tainted eyes, thoughts,
    they no longer conjoin with my mindset
    I turn my thinking around
    appreciate what there is to gain
    from times that do not initially please
    because appreciating what is being presented
    sometimes takes a little twisting.

    I feel the warmth radiate within my heart
    rare are times of mood swings or upsets
    non showy
    not up in arms
    I am simply living life in a pleasant way
    because I’m happy with myself
    much more than those yesterdays.

    changes came when I paved my way.
    (10/11/21)

    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Alex Perez on Unsplash

    Previous Post: steely gorges – 10/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: steely gorges – 10/11/21

    Poem: steely gorges – 10/11/21

    bombastic
    the moment is fantastique
    when I shudder with deep peace
    it’s overall amazing
    but consequences consequences
    of this goddamned show
    pantomime the pleasure, suffering,
    will I watch it go?

    I acknowledge it is worthy of being much adored
    the events forthcoming
    unexpected
    yet awaited
    something silently asked, yearned for
    it’s inherently palatable
    this desire we can call home
    but indulgences in memorandum are dangerous
    won’t we desire them less? No, let the heart roam.

    brightened sets of eyes sharing the same thoughts
    hands extended, belly-fire,
    knowing we are each other ours,
    to find that other
    to share the feelings
    the same desire
    perspirations
    knowingly
    entered into sufferings
    because together they don’t seem
    too harsh, abrasive, in the end

    consequences are now like a steely dance
    consumption of the knowing urge is like
    icing on soft gorges
    the curvatures on your back allows me to
    slide and slip away
    let me lick the air of delicate understanding,
    share our moments for another day.
    (09/11/21)

    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Unsplash

    Previous Post: Control – 09/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: Control – 09/11/21

    Poem: Control – 09/11/21

    positively bursting
    bursting at the seams
    who thought a mindless act like this
    could whisper many dreams?
    aching at the midriff
    yet calling, wanting more
    short-term fervour
    temporary gratification
    reach into that cupboard:
    what’s in store?

    I know it’s unwise to continue,
    to carry on with this mission of sorts
    but nutritionally body is craving it
    dying for it
    is this the truth? Perhaps not yet,
    I’m not so sure.

    caught up in the haze of the moment
    confusion as I reach, shovel,
    satiation refuses to reign,
    so many months,
    so many hours,
    unravelling hard work,
    but, required all the same.

    it’s not so frequent but it is becoming more prominent
    my resolve my stoic nature is beginning to soften
    I tell myself, it’s fine, a once-off,
    will rectify damage the next day,
    self-absorption not, but obsession where I lay.

    numbers tracked logged
    today I must take off
    there’s little point in detailing
    when today my mission is a failure, failing

    cannot stop myself
    I don’t want to even try
    it’s become something I do
    second nature
    and for certain others viewing
    a plaintive tear in the corner of their eyes.

    improvement is possible
    if that’s the way I wanted it
    but what I deem important and a benefit
    is different from those coming from Wellness
    it’s a matter of perspective
    it’s a matter of my urge
    it’s a matter of what drives me
    and for me, continuing feels like a surge

    lightning rods of control coursing through
    my veins
    my heart is adamant
    pinpointed eyes the focus within my brain
    I will continue on because it is what drives me
    I am compelled
    I must control, control
    and this is my urge,
    today’s downfall hopefully is just a spell,
    it shouldn’t happen for a while,
    stop, I implore.
    (09/11/21)  
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Joshua Fuller on Unsplash

    Previous Post: self-worth – 09/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: self-worth – 09/11/21

    Poem: self-worth – 09/11/21

    honestly
    but metaphorically speaking
    I won’t take the high road that they think
    is coming
    I’ll continue to work hard
    true grit
    correct technique
    be assured that I won’t take shortcuts
    there’s no point in doing so.

    I have to watch myself and treasure the miles ahead and
    respect myself,
    and not allow others to disrespect
    or not take heed of the fact that I am
    deserving
    needing
    worthy
    precious
    special

    don’t walk over me
    don’t tread upon me
    downtrodden I will not be
    it’s not their way but what needs to suit me
    it’s not selfish to make sure that
    the decisions I make are right for my life
    my health
    my mental state

    don’t denigrate me, ignore me,
    think I’m available last minute
    here and now, later, or provide loose excuses
    this and that,
    I have learned my worth over the years
    I am not a mouse being played with cats
    toyed with, pawed at, ending in disaster
    no, I won’t allow it any longer.

    if I’m truly treasured by others, wanted in their lives
    they’ll show this in ways that exhibit care, concern,
    nothing to leverage, nothing to manipulate,
    for them to gain,
    no, our relationships, friendships, mutually beneficial
    intentions all the same.

    this is why I hold only certain ones close
    these days I have discerned
    I decided that enough was enough
    that I am not to be treated like a piece of dirt
    but with love, feeling, heart and soul.
    I treasure my ones with equal love.  
    (08/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

    Previous Post: recovery – 08/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: recovery – 08/11/21

    Poem: recovery – 08/11/21

    dastardly distress
    growing more
    not less
    unless there is a pathway being chosen
    is this a test?
    to make healthier of the situation
    lightness has already occurred
    consumption is the ammunition
    there is time
    there is time
    to fix
    alter
    mend
    darn
    this part of life.

    complications may have soared
    if I continued the way I had
    hollow
    eyes wide
    sagging complexion
    beauty, is this, dear woman?

    I do not know
    but I need to learn balance
    it’s a difficult way to dance
    pirouetting is what I desire
    not sinking because I’m allowing
    myself under.

    control, control
    in its finest form
    everything documented
    taken in
    and jotted down
    I guess obsession is easy
    to develop
    when I’ve the personality like mine

    but wind back,
    wind back the clock
    develop new, fresh, safer habits
    with time.  
    just learn the research,
    I tell myself,
    and you’ll be fine.
    (08/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Jack Bassingthwaighte on Unsplash

    Previous Post: striving – 07/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: striving – 07/11/21

    Poem: striving – 07/11/21

    my mission is pure,
    Seer’s blood I am sure,
    entitled to breathe in and relax
    because I am laying, stress-relieved upon my back,
    there’s nothing left to say except this,
    I cannot stress enough the importance of
    wanting to remain,
    to be the best in life that I can be,
    pity those who care not for life,
    who do not accept it as something
    to be cherished, loved,
    adored, too.

    I cannot believe that some just coast on by
    never taking in what surrounds them,
    beauty of November, sprinklings of May,
    and baby, I wish you to spread those wings
    and want to stay,
    honestly, reckoning I shall
    because there’s so much to delve into,
    the possibilities are endless,
    I will say.
    (07/11/21)

    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

    Previous Post: a land of complications – 06/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: a land of complications – 06/11/21

    Poem: a land of complications – 06/11/21

    positively brightening
    what is there to come?
    a world of complications? But a heart won’t come undone
    I learn from each mistake, take on life lessons at hand,
    and understanding every moment has its consequence,
    I’m more well-equipped, skills at hand.

    I know that I should be strong
    I know that certain pathways were wrong
    I understand that the future is bright
    if I accept it, in a way to behold,
    because there’s nothing wrong
    with being myself and more
    so we shall not bother to deal with any
    reckoning from others about my soul.

    I am quieter, I am softer, I am gentler and this
    is the truth,
    from bombastic to controlled,
    I guess tiring was the former view,
    to be something more with the click of
    a finger, is this what the aim is for?
    My demeanour tender,
    I will rise above and beyond,
    I already am, already have,
    I’m sure,

    the devil’s in the details but no mention
    needed of him,
    because I can see my future,
    and well, let me tell you,
    there are things I want and need,
    come to fruition,
    growth from mere seeds,
    slowly, slowly, sure,
    I will traverse this land of complications,
    allow me to see this through.
    (06/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Previous Post: illumination – 05/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose