disarming intimacy so comfortable to let him in conversations about everything emotional closeness no need for physicality feel the heartbeats through our laughter ponder-patter irreverent chatter knowing that to him, my voice does matter. accepting our trysts of personal powers so far yet so close feel our united pulse warbling and smiling with ease the past doesn’t determine we playfully tease building a stronger bond through wonderful rapport knowing should I falter he’ll help me seize these oars.
I am currently away without leave, taken steps to walk from progress so I can be there, to care for the ones I used to revolt against, those who love me with every inch no matter past sadness, but pray tell I do digress, I need to be here, not unavailable, but present, my presence used to be far, far less.
I have relearned the role of family amid this chaos, upsets, Life’s bad news, over years together when my desire to stay home faltered, when I needed to be belligerent to others, now those days have all but faded away, love grown and nurtured, here I am, I will stay, give back for it’s the least I can do, promise their needs will be attended to, it’s not about my former wreckages now.
Gently, I will lace the new understanding of family and closeness and inherent need and trust, being here, breathing there, even in silence company is a must, spread my opening wings around their hearts, stop the chance of bruising through my chrysalis, boy, am I wondering will this ever be enough, as repayment? This tender notion of love versus love.
I am away without leave, I have taken the time, a step away from requirements, daily life now starts to sway, we are in our vortex where time learns to stand still, and we can appreciate one another’s company again, adoringly drink our fill. For, time is fleeting, Life seems to know that drill.
Broken, he seemingly fell from the heavens, into your considering view. Into your loving care and concern, he assisted at healing you too. As you nursed him back to health, hand rearing, listening to his joyous, tenuous calls and providing your skills of motherly loving, you watched him and his confidence grow tenfold, in the days you spent together.
Then disaster would strike, oh, the horror, as differing birds came to sweep your Birdy away. Yet he is now looked after by a larger other, of his own kin; you smile to yourself, knowing he is finally grown enough for freedom with his own kind, with his other hopefully he will stay. Though, close to your heart his memories will forever remain, and you wish for him as a guardian of your land, you know you cannot will him to be anything more than free, as the moment that he flew from your hand.
Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose 
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