Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

Tag: life

  • Poem: steely gorges – 10/11/21

    Poem: steely gorges – 10/11/21

    bombastic
    the moment is fantastique
    when I shudder with deep peace
    it’s overall amazing
    but consequences consequences
    of this goddamned show
    pantomime the pleasure, suffering,
    will I watch it go?

    I acknowledge it is worthy of being much adored
    the events forthcoming
    unexpected
    yet awaited
    something silently asked, yearned for
    it’s inherently palatable
    this desire we can call home
    but indulgences in memorandum are dangerous
    won’t we desire them less? No, let the heart roam.

    brightened sets of eyes sharing the same thoughts
    hands extended, belly-fire,
    knowing we are each other ours,
    to find that other
    to share the feelings
    the same desire
    perspirations
    knowingly
    entered into sufferings
    because together they don’t seem
    too harsh, abrasive, in the end

    consequences are now like a steely dance
    consumption of the knowing urge is like
    icing on soft gorges
    the curvatures on your back allows me to
    slide and slip away
    let me lick the air of delicate understanding,
    share our moments for another day.
    (09/11/21)

    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Unsplash

    Previous Post: Control – 09/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: Control – 09/11/21

    Poem: Control – 09/11/21

    positively bursting
    bursting at the seams
    who thought a mindless act like this
    could whisper many dreams?
    aching at the midriff
    yet calling, wanting more
    short-term fervour
    temporary gratification
    reach into that cupboard:
    what’s in store?

    I know it’s unwise to continue,
    to carry on with this mission of sorts
    but nutritionally body is craving it
    dying for it
    is this the truth? Perhaps not yet,
    I’m not so sure.

    caught up in the haze of the moment
    confusion as I reach, shovel,
    satiation refuses to reign,
    so many months,
    so many hours,
    unravelling hard work,
    but, required all the same.

    it’s not so frequent but it is becoming more prominent
    my resolve my stoic nature is beginning to soften
    I tell myself, it’s fine, a once-off,
    will rectify damage the next day,
    self-absorption not, but obsession where I lay.

    numbers tracked logged
    today I must take off
    there’s little point in detailing
    when today my mission is a failure, failing

    cannot stop myself
    I don’t want to even try
    it’s become something I do
    second nature
    and for certain others viewing
    a plaintive tear in the corner of their eyes.

    improvement is possible
    if that’s the way I wanted it
    but what I deem important and a benefit
    is different from those coming from Wellness
    it’s a matter of perspective
    it’s a matter of my urge
    it’s a matter of what drives me
    and for me, continuing feels like a surge

    lightning rods of control coursing through
    my veins
    my heart is adamant
    pinpointed eyes the focus within my brain
    I will continue on because it is what drives me
    I am compelled
    I must control, control
    and this is my urge,
    today’s downfall hopefully is just a spell,
    it shouldn’t happen for a while,
    stop, I implore.
    (09/11/21)  
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Joshua Fuller on Unsplash

    Previous Post: self-worth – 09/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: self-worth – 09/11/21

    Poem: self-worth – 09/11/21

    honestly
    but metaphorically speaking
    I won’t take the high road that they think
    is coming
    I’ll continue to work hard
    true grit
    correct technique
    be assured that I won’t take shortcuts
    there’s no point in doing so.

    I have to watch myself and treasure the miles ahead and
    respect myself,
    and not allow others to disrespect
    or not take heed of the fact that I am
    deserving
    needing
    worthy
    precious
    special

    don’t walk over me
    don’t tread upon me
    downtrodden I will not be
    it’s not their way but what needs to suit me
    it’s not selfish to make sure that
    the decisions I make are right for my life
    my health
    my mental state

    don’t denigrate me, ignore me,
    think I’m available last minute
    here and now, later, or provide loose excuses
    this and that,
    I have learned my worth over the years
    I am not a mouse being played with cats
    toyed with, pawed at, ending in disaster
    no, I won’t allow it any longer.

    if I’m truly treasured by others, wanted in their lives
    they’ll show this in ways that exhibit care, concern,
    nothing to leverage, nothing to manipulate,
    for them to gain,
    no, our relationships, friendships, mutually beneficial
    intentions all the same.

    this is why I hold only certain ones close
    these days I have discerned
    I decided that enough was enough
    that I am not to be treated like a piece of dirt
    but with love, feeling, heart and soul.
    I treasure my ones with equal love.  
    (08/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

    Previous Post: recovery – 08/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: recovery – 08/11/21

    Poem: recovery – 08/11/21

    dastardly distress
    growing more
    not less
    unless there is a pathway being chosen
    is this a test?
    to make healthier of the situation
    lightness has already occurred
    consumption is the ammunition
    there is time
    there is time
    to fix
    alter
    mend
    darn
    this part of life.

    complications may have soared
    if I continued the way I had
    hollow
    eyes wide
    sagging complexion
    beauty, is this, dear woman?

    I do not know
    but I need to learn balance
    it’s a difficult way to dance
    pirouetting is what I desire
    not sinking because I’m allowing
    myself under.

    control, control
    in its finest form
    everything documented
    taken in
    and jotted down
    I guess obsession is easy
    to develop
    when I’ve the personality like mine

    but wind back,
    wind back the clock
    develop new, fresh, safer habits
    with time.  
    just learn the research,
    I tell myself,
    and you’ll be fine.
    (08/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Jack Bassingthwaighte on Unsplash

    Previous Post: striving – 07/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: a land of complications – 06/11/21

    Poem: a land of complications – 06/11/21

    positively brightening
    what is there to come?
    a world of complications? But a heart won’t come undone
    I learn from each mistake, take on life lessons at hand,
    and understanding every moment has its consequence,
    I’m more well-equipped, skills at hand.

    I know that I should be strong
    I know that certain pathways were wrong
    I understand that the future is bright
    if I accept it, in a way to behold,
    because there’s nothing wrong
    with being myself and more
    so we shall not bother to deal with any
    reckoning from others about my soul.

    I am quieter, I am softer, I am gentler and this
    is the truth,
    from bombastic to controlled,
    I guess tiring was the former view,
    to be something more with the click of
    a finger, is this what the aim is for?
    My demeanour tender,
    I will rise above and beyond,
    I already am, already have,
    I’m sure,

    the devil’s in the details but no mention
    needed of him,
    because I can see my future,
    and well, let me tell you,
    there are things I want and need,
    come to fruition,
    growth from mere seeds,
    slowly, slowly, sure,
    I will traverse this land of complications,
    allow me to see this through.
    (06/11/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Previous Post: illumination – 05/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: illumination – 05/11/21

    Poem: illumination – 05/11/21

    falling apart
    sometimes I feel I’m falling away
    from the tapestry which I have woven and I say
    with great distress
    was it all worth it
    come what may?

    But is one night enough
    to determine upsets from within,
    can work of months, weeks be seen
    as all dreams?
    No, no no. I do not dare to
    fly away,
    disappear from the annals, the history
    of yesterday,

    for while I made mistakes
    and felt out of control
    the truth is I am always here
    to improve and grow.
    time shall show her shy contented face
    and allow the moon to wane and wax lyrical
    her tunes varying, never the same,
    for she wants to share her luminosity
    with me,
    I cannot help but understand how she
    desires to remain,
    to be.
    and I vow to be like her
    bright, hopeful, glowing with effervescence
    and I know that if I keep
    a solid mindset
    something built with inner strength
    I’ll make it through the occasional storm
    I won’t mind them
    anymore.
    (04/10/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Filip Bunkens on Unsplash

    Previous Post: Placed Just Right

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: Placed Just Right – 03/11/21

    Poem: Placed Just Right – 03/11/21

    please place it into place
    for I am found
    discrepancies no longer need to abound
    my world is prismatic
    how about yours?
    this is the way I prefer it
    darkness is too untoward

    lightness and fluidity
    I have routine daily
    which sets me in steed for healing gently
    I am encouraging my world
    I am watching myself bloom
    I wish to welcome many others
    those who wish to blossom joyfully in this room

    abide by no rules
    live freely
    strength, resilience, be bold
    to have come from such instability
    when my mind was fraying at the seams
    when the pieces were already shattering
    broken already, then further
    my thoughts chattering.

    delusions so grand
    I encapsulated so many lands
    being fiercely unwell, so many years
    taken away from me,
    but now I’m becoming right, right, right,
    there is nothing left to fear
    my heart, it feels full
    because I’m living in a way
    I hold dear

    I’ve learned these mechanisms which
    keep me in tow
    set my mind at ease
    abilities to cope, slowly grow
    stressors become lesser
    and my temperament is free
    to be myself
    be less counterproductive
    more me,
    improvements to see.
    (02/10/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash

    Previous Post: evolution – 01/11/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • evolution – 01/11/21

    evolution – 01/11/21

    time honoured traditions
    how I carry them on board
    deep within the recesses of my memory
    within my heart,
    it’s sure,
    warble yet for the things which I care for
    damsel in distress I am not
    because I am in control.

    smilingly and coyly, I take in the scene
    what is before me
    oh, how I love to dream,
    appreciating what is mine and what will be yours
    knowing that happiness is the source of all these things

    enlightenment comes in many forms,
    which form is yours?
    where is the charm in knowing which will highest, soar,
    with the moment, with the memories of what has
    come to past,
    what I need is the love, the love to continue, right,
    to last…

    with a grip of death-like stability
    I reach onto the relaxing scene
    for my mind allows me to be there,
    know there,
    understand there is something
    which is as lustrous and glimmering
    as mermaid hair,

    and carry on until the ending
    for it will never be reached
    because I am constantly evolving,
    I have made sure of this.
    (01/11/21)

    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
    Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

    Previous Post: Growth – 31/10/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: Growth – 31/10/21

    Poem: Growth – 31/10/21

    sit and contemplate
    what is there to know
    what is there to share
    from what has been sown
    so much knowledge
    experience but they all
    lay in the past
    moving forward
    searching for more
    exploration, positive at last

    growing each day
    there’s no need to turn to dismay
    for moments of yesteryears are
    exactly that
    and improvement, well, what is there to fear?
    I can grow exponentially if I only desire to try
    and by God I am trying and succeeding
    each day, with every breath I reach and fly

    soaring for the moment
    it’s as though there is magic in my potions
    assisting me to becoming the best that I can be
    it didn’t happen immediately
    and not without great effort
    but once I put my mind to it, dedicated myself
    created positive habits
    then things fell into place
    results began to show
    any with any motivational action
    I felt my heart know
    that the path which I was, am, taking
    is the right one for me,
    to become better
    more
    improved
    the right version of little old me.
    (31/10/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Photo by Monica Turlui on Pexels.com

    Previous Post: A Fateful Meeting – 30/10/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

  • Poem: A Fateful Meeting – 30/10/21

    Poem: A Fateful Meeting – 30/10/21

    she sat beside herself
    talked gently in her ear
    baby girl, you have nothing to fear
    there’s naught in the world that
    you cannot and will not take on
    fear not, my love
    fear not

    the little girl smiled with shyness
    tentatively the elder spoke with kindness
    you will achieve all you seek
    if only you work hard
    spread love and happiness too
    you’ll go far

    but mother, mother
    no I am not she
    I am you in your older years
    these wrinkles, smile lines, can’t you see?
    I’ve been happy
    content,
    everything I appreciate that God has sent
    because I know that every day is a blessing
    each minute, hour, I treasure,
    because one second we’ll wonder where they went.

    the youth’s eyes flickered
    realisation dawned
    so, all I have to do is be happy and a good person
    what about the other things I’ve heard?
    what other things, elder she asked, lowering her eyes
    the little girl said I heard I must be the best
    at everything I try

    personal bests are important, yes
    but be strong inside yourself
    resilience is a special word
    you’ll learn of when in your heart you delve
    be careful with who you let in
    but do not erect high walls
    in short be the perfect person you are,
    you’re an amazing little girl.

    she disappeared now
    into some ether
    one moment there
    the next vanished, no sight of her
    the little girl, somewhat perplexed
    but enlightened in a way
    she grins to herself
    and announces
    I met myself today!
    (30/10/21)
    Copyright © 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.

    Image source: by cottonbro on Pexels.com

    Previous Post: Trust Me Yet – 29/10/21

    Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose