Lauren M. Hancock Poetry and Prose

Tag: personal

  • Poem: Jacob’s Wings – 06/07/20

    Poem: Jacob’s Wings – 06/07/20

    Your wings were ready
but we were not,
we should have felt
prepared for this day,
 
for months we
insisted that you
remain with us,
were we so selfish
each time we decided
you should stay?
 
Those fateful, family discussions
which ended with:
Save Jacob!
With us, he must remain.
 
Your sad eyes quietly suffered,
your bloated, lethargic body
laid sprawled on the porch,
 
each morning and evening
your advanced Cushing’s disease
required invasive, pain-controlling shots.
 
We couldn’t let you go,
but you begged,
silently cried
for freedom,
 
to slip away
from this world,
far from your suffering,
 
we insisted a little longer in
our lives you must remain,
we loved you,
saying goodbye so soon?
There was no way.
 
Your elderly state,
your debilitating illness,
your immense pain,
the accompanying afflictions,
as a family pet you’d been
so good to us,
and now we
would not let you leave.
 
But for all your suffering,
there came the time
when we
realised and acknowledged
that with future wings
you must be
allowed to roam free,
 
your wings were
almost ready,
but our hearts
still ached for you
not to leave.
 
And as I stared
into your beautiful, deep brown,
understanding eyes,
I held your paw
as the green calming fluid
took hold of you,
 
my darling, 
my sweet, brave Jacob,
my loving companion before me,

who comforted me through
hell and heaven,
finally at peace,
 
our tears continued to well,
hysterical, guttural wails,
our world now bare,
lost without you,
 
my two younger brothers and I left alone
in this stark grey, private room:
utterly broken, crestfallen, despairing.

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Personal photos.

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  • Poem: To Make a Difference – 05/07/20

    Poem: To Make a Difference – 05/07/20

    Wanting to make a difference,
trying to be heard,
I've spoken at length
and, I fear I've pained some 
minds,
eyes 
and ears,
still, I insisted on 
sharing more, and more, and more.
 
I’d apologise for
being fixated,
but, I am compelled, 
I want to
share my truths,

will they, have they
made a difference?
Could you relate?
Were you moved?
 
I know I need to
pull back,
drag drawstrings on the
crazed kite that’s
whipped so free,
decrease the momentum,
I need to drag, drag,
drag,
my words straight back to me.
 
To corner them in
a box,
a private site for
me alone,
until I can assess
what should be shared,
not haphazardly at you thrown.
 
Sometimes I share so
I feel less alone,
knowing that others
are sharing my
experiences, too,
 
makes me feel like
my varied path with its mistakes
and pains
may have more of a learning curve to 
ride and view.
 
I cannot help that
I’ve overloaded,
but when I look back
on my words,
 
I’m pleased that I’ve
shared, 
that I've opened up,
perhaps to you,
and to others,
this has drawn us closer.
 
Understanding to be allowed,
interwoven,
ne’er to be undone,
these moments, experiences,
truths of mine,
recollected and digested
together.

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved. 
Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

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  • Poem: Here We Go Round the Merry-Go-Round – 06/12/19

    Poem: Here We Go Round the Merry-Go-Round – 06/12/19


     I picked the best horse,
     he looks to be a bright blue stallion,
     head thrown back
     as though caught in the height of action.
      
     His mane, tufty in appearance yet made of plastic,
     surrounded by two females, pink and purple
     whose eyes aren’t bothering to view him.
      
     My stallion isn’t distracted,
     he is here and he is present,
     in mind and body and soul
     I will ride him on this merry-go-round.
      
     He will always beat the females
     who appear there simply to preen,
     not for any horse other than themselves
     their attentions are for themselves, it seems.
      
     And as I win the race with my stallion in first place
     I know that I could have performed the task myself,
     with my human legs running upon the ride
     as a sprinter’s dream.
     But it’s nice to have something leading the way,
     and persisting in its dreams. 
      
     So, I dismount from the stallion
     pat his mane gently all the way down his spine
     I thank him for his galloping ability
     and wish I could make this merry-go ride mine.
      
     Not because it caused me a thrill,
     not because I wish for eloquence or speed,
     but simply because it allowed me a break from my life,
     where I was in front, a forerunner, a winner,
     without needing to beg to be seen. 
      
     © 2019 Lauren M. Hancock 
    also known as Alice Well. All rights reserved.

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  • Poem: The Sun is Pleased – 29/11/19

    Poem: The Sun is Pleased – 29/11/19

     The sun beams down upon me:
     he is happy with me today. 
     Sometimes he is disappointed,
     other times he may be sorely dismayed.
      
     But I can tell from his 
     loving warmth which spreads
     upon my complexion 
     that today he is pleased with me,
     and the steps I am undertaking in my life
     to cause positive action. 
      
     I am able to draw upon experiences which, 
     though once painful and caused 
     such internal suffering,
     can now be turned into something positive,
     as though to say,
      
     “Look where I came from, 
     and where I have been,” 
      
     then the comparison of what is fruitful and kind, 
     and what I have become,
     why, I’ve become myself again:
     from previous terrors there is 
     no need to run and hide. 
      
     The illness, the illnesses, 
     the secondary causes, 
     the uncontrollable sense of living,
     it was in no way assured.
      
     I lived flighty, in soaring delusional heights,
     I didn’t know what I was doing,
     only wished for worlds to explore
     and as I crashed and burned many a-time,
     faux pas and mental instability a-plenty,
     I wonder now,
     how it is that I am still here,
     alive,
     writing line upon line. 
      
     But I have healed from the brokenness,
     the fragility,
     the shattered scenes,
     and here I am, 
     living freely and openly breathing.
      
     I am here, 
     and I will take each opportunity as wholly mine,
     there is no need,
     no reasoning,
     to falter again,
     or trip down the line. 
      
     The sun twinkles in the corner of my eye,
     I think I see him wink. 
     I now know for certain that he is inextricably pleased.
      
     © 2019 Lauren M. Hancock 
    also known as Alice Well. All rights reserved.

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  • Poem: Boastful Love – 01/10/19

    Like a lion I can bellow, like a lion I can roar.

    Like a kitten, I can curl into your crooked elbow, relax myself and purr. Into a crumpled heap I can fall, into your wanting arm.

    Here I am not boastful, as I am occasionally wont to be. Here I am quiet, subtle, subdued — here it is just you and I, the vibrating resonance of the breaths of us two.

    Rise and fall,

    rise and fall,

    until slower we become, simultaneous, as one,

    sleep beckons to us, to the humming of our pacified dreamscapes and

    the freedom of our wild and outrageously intricate love.   

    © 2019 Alice Well Art, Lauren M. Hancock also known as Alice Well. All rights reserved.


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