The feeling I get when attending is one of great unease.
I have not been here for long, but my heart pitter-patters,
fluttering in the breeze.
Why am I so nervous?
I used to attend and be present many, many times,
a feeling of stupendous awakening?
I’m unsure of this,
though I’ll be brave and allow myself to stay,
I must try.
What worries me are certain memories,
but surely, they will not return,
quietness is now overwhelming,
there is only me at the helm,
for I am the one steering the course of my ship,
and if I’m tired, I’ll lend the movements to another,
closer to me,
perhaps a type of kin,
then, he or she, will look after the helm,
and allow me to soar, higher than the fear I feel within.
There’s nothing to fear when I can hold myself near,
hold myself together,
or allow the movements of another.
I can allow a being to help me be fixed piece by piece,
because this feeling of unease will soon no longer be with me.
© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Eternal Happiness on Pexels.com
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