I am in my element in this state, perpetual song and dance, electrifying dopamine and serotonin I rise, I rise, I rise fast. My wit and charm seem perfectly at hand, I giggle, am sardonic, I laugh with ease, of this state I’m trying to comprehend. Is life playing tricks on me? Is it the reduction of the mind-numbing medication that is what's causing me this amazing bliss? This erratic showwomanship that’s causing me to smile and dance all over the place, with my body’s withdrawal tick, tick, ticks? My creativity soars, is mania pre-empted? Wouldn’t you like to take control of my oars? Be responsible for temporary guidance? I will toss them aside, I don’t, who needs control not when I can explode with wild laughter, my energy bubbling and frothing, enthusiasm flows, but don’t you know this, this state I am in, my eclectic humour and lilting wit can only grow, grow, grow, and grow? I am impatient, I can definitely be self-satisfied, I can be easily amused, this brews and simmers inside, I am impressed by my words and my ability to throw forth clever jokes, when I'm like this, I entertain others, no chance of boredom, for that, there is no hope. My sounding board, he listens, with amused chuckles he accepts my chortling trills, it’s nice to have another soul with whom I can talk rubbish to for hours, without their ear being bashed, assailed by my sounds, together we can share some verbal thrills. Rather than thinking I am too outrageous, that my character is simply too much, I think I’m just returning to who I was (lies) before the medications were slapped upon me (lies: you might need to replenish, stop the spare pills’ accumulation, rather, send them to your insides) a mind's clever tricks, recommendations of mine. I should know better but I am being optimistic, bipolarity flies from within me, I love this freedom, the ability to daily and nightly dream, I am living for the moment, I am so happy to finally be here, the abnormality here is none! In this state I am positively flowing. I cannot quite believe it, it seems there's a wave of rolling applause and excitement, I must attend to the imagined need there is, heaving and ready, thank you for being here yourselves, and here for me, I tentatively smile, then beam, yes, why, of course, all is as it seems. © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved. Photo by Vitória Santos from Pexels
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