Poem: Languishing – 02/09/20

I tell myself
that everything will be okay,
but I languish in bed for hours.
I lie here, my consciousness aching away,
my stomach anxious as I wonder
not what the distant future will bring,
but the next minute, next seconds, next hours.

I do not know how to deal with this despair,
I practiced positivity these last days without a care,
but what’s settling in is this irrevocable gloom,
of unknowing, what will come,
or whether things will change at all soon.

It’s like looking up the steepest hill,
some would think, “Keep going” and keep aiming for the summit,
but I, I am exhausted,
and I’ve barely performed any exertion,
but mentally,
inside, it’s a circus.

These times are trying for many,
and I know this,
I’m not selfish for how I’m feeling,
and I understand that others are suffering,
perhaps I could reach out a hand,
then I remember we’re discouraged from this,
I must keep my distance,
but wait,
I’m already doing this.

These four walls which once seemed like luxury,
a newly-developed introvert’s home
are caving in on me,
I want to disappear,
but then it seems from the outside world
I’ve already achieved this.

© 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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6 Comments

  1. Oh my goodness. This is so lovely.❤️ Very much the way I feel a lot of the time, these days. My goodness we’ll appreciate this world like never before when we finally get full access to it again. In the meantime: we’ve got this. Together. 🌸xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you can relate to my poem, it is such a hard time for everyone, isn’t it? Melbourne’s lockdown has been difficult and may be set to extend, much to many people’s despair but I think we need to be safe as well. Still, the mental toll is difficult. 😦 But you’re right, we’ve got this together. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re in Melbourne too, are you? What a small world, no wonder we’re on a similar wavelength at the moment. Yes, I’ve got to say…I’ve been relatively isolated for years raising my children but this really takes it to another level. So many fingers crossed we can pull through this at a quicker rate than we have been. So many fingers crossed. xx

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Shruba. Sometimes it is hard to think of the togetherness when we are so far apart, but it is something we must remember and know — we are all going through the same trials together but apart. Together we will made it through. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

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