Poem: Losing Control – 18/04/21

Losing control,
walking on a tightrope,
hurled on a high swing,
abandoning all that I do not want,
can signal the end of everything.

Sweetness in all its magic,
is temptation as it comes,
the palatable,
the rush,
the seeming goodness,
the body screams for it,
by eleven, the damage is done.

Little pieces initially,
then vacuuming that room,
inhaling without true consciousness,
not even savouring the feeling,
this feeling I wish to be rid of soon.

For if it’s acknowledged,
won’t that mean it’s fine for pleasure to return?
I’ve spent months on end denying the joy
of consumption,
and now, here, look at me now…

Unravelling the habit?
Denying myself,
creating a disservice?
I’m not sure if I should surrender,
but what I know is

I should be grateful,
I should be thankful,
trust me, in ways I am,
but the mindset I want, need, have to retain,
it cannot be thrust aside,
if so, well, I’ll be damned.

© 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Image from Unsplash.