I reside in this moment with you, beneath a lurid supermoon, its aura as precious as that fateful ‘oops’ moment when paths would intersect in artificial yet hounding gloom. I did not know it was necessarily the beginning of something fresh, yet also something promising pain, future blues, but shining through these circumstances are tid-bits of wonder, sparkles, delight would and does fly, I have to say, perfected upon many days and hours.
Do I reminisce only on the appropriate moments, forgetting, forgiving, where I should not? The mental cavities, the pine-wood rot carrying, housing all these ill feelings I’d rather not transport? Perhaps I do, maybe block out the noise, sometimes certain people always have a pathway back into your life. And this is what I must say, where pieces of flung, shattered heart will not remain, after breaking I will have assistance from others, I need not perform surgery in vain.
What seems warranted does not appear so to others, but internally, there is that pull, an indescribable power, that this person must remain, must return, like their presence was never cast aside, and so I ignore their former mental trains, their ability to cause hurt to my heart, aching and anger all the same. I excuse the errors, I forgive, forgive, somewhat naively, but that’s the price I decide to pay if I want fulfilled my detailed, scrawled yearnings. The other’s self-conditioning is shining, winking, striding, not simply pacing, or aimlessly meandering. Fierce determination, flexing strength which is no longer alien, I watch by softly, shallowly breathing, within our cocoon, residing.
© 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
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