Occasionally, I struggle to find the words to speak, to correctly express my sincerity, because sincere is how I wholly desire to be viewed, and I don’t wish for any unfair prejudice or judgement. I simply wish for the right combination, the winning ordering that shows everything in part or in whole, that which I deem as important to know, because, little use would there be in frightening myself into insincerity, falsified expressions and pandering a-plenty, disingenuousness and bent truths are not how I’ve been raised, not how I’ve been brought up to be. Sometimes, I am too honest and obvious for my own good, I can frighten or perturb even those close to me, with revelations, with words they’ve never seen nor heard, they’d previously not have considered them to be part of my reality or path. A close friend recently listened to my recorded words, which detailed several mental health episodes, my path, my mindset was so unwell, and here appeared shock, stilted confusion, quiet concern, perhaps of my candour and thought processes he felt mildly aghast, of the true extent of my illness he had become more learned. Unaware these prior thoughts were what I had experienced, for him, they must have truly terrified. I know for me, at the time of their awakening, some frightened the life from me, too. But, I have this bone within me which I do not want to pick, in fact, it should be lovingly stroked, even strummed, gently caressed, because it assists me with the melodies of which I live, breathe and speak, be they lilting, or melancholy extended elegies. The truth within my marrow, it is rich and it is potent, I will embrace it, I will suck it clean, I have allowed the taste to permeate my being, and I will allow the honesty to embroil, to envelope, to overtake me. © 2020 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved. Image credit: Clipart Library.com - Wishbone
YouTube Poem videos: Lauren M. Hancock Poetry
