Prose: Losing Grip, Gaining Momentum – 30/05/21

Stability, balance, breath; it’s all I need, in, out, announcing my presence, my cares rise like air, into the atmosphere they appear to swirl, yet in my mind, I am stagnant, there must be a woman within, not this impressionable young, little girl inside. That youngster awaits, with insolence, she does not want to see, that the path undertaken by some ill-fated decisions, their negativities and future judgements allowed are glaring to others, plain to see. Why cannot I understand that I’m losing grip on the reality of accountability, need I digress? Think of poor decisions like little stars, from here they feature and twinkle, but in reality, they explode, combust, from afar, a death already done, a death already begun. Fate has decided that this girl must learn or her progress, hard work, personal growth and path, will cease to be, unravel it may, completely come undone.

But there is a positive way of knowing that steps can be made, forward, one foot in front of the other, balance, balance… break… It’s not a lapse in judgement, it’s just a broken moment; thought patterns causing pauses while I analyse future processes. For decisions cannot always come to us easily, and right and wrong may not simply extract themselves from emotion and feelings. I am yet to be angered to the point of no return, because my frustrations at poor treatment have been calmed, my quarrel with disrespect relaxed, coping mechanisms developed. To poor behaviour, it seems this girl is not so malleable, after all. I cannot control how others treat me, but I can accept and decide when from their presence I will turn and leave.

© 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Susanne Jutzeler from Pexels

Previous Post: ‘Freedom’ – 29/05/21

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