The fullness in my belly
tells me how blessed
I am to smile,
to grin until cheeks ache,
what madness,
corners of lips will remain
widow-peaked,
I’m grateful for the satisfaction
which comes from not being
lonely and hollow,
many yesterdays,
potential tomorrows
promised to be laden with
such sorrow.
But I have changed mindsets,
it is nothing short of amazing,
withholding health from myself, I had,
now, pleasantries, luxuriating,
I would not allow myself to
experience any possible bliss,
deprivation, for firm reasons,
and now I’ve relaxed,
relinquishing control,
what personal power this is.
It should matter not,
should not be all about,
what one looks like
to the world,
how one presents is only
one sheen, lustre,
shimmer of a pearl,
what we are made up of,
the interior,
our strength,
our power,
our desires,
truth of the matter,
these are what really matter.
Disgruntled nature within,
cataclysmic, self-loathing,
hatred growing,
wanting, desiring, that physical
changing,
but it is with true consciousness
that we should be engaging,
not just with the world
but ourselves,
power-pressing up against
closing-in walls,
free yourself,
it’s truly triumphant
to be strong in this world.
No longer aiming for tiny,
but aiming for happy and healthy,
already halfway there,
won’t I growl a prized cacophony?
I can be anything I want to be,
and I choose to be me,
the only authentic form,
shape, person
in this world
that I can truly be.
© 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Johen Redman on Unsplash
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