Poem: First Time – 26/06/21

The very first moment
I leant in for your kiss,
I’d been waiting most of the morning,
watching your careful moving lips.

With bliss abounding,
I had spoken with abandon,
so ecstatic I was to be in your presence,

and seated next to you,
my heart raced,
my breath held,
surely you could see,
feel the rich desperation,
my need,
for your touch,
underscored by your
vermillion crease.

You were hesitant,
for unknown reasons
I watched your body stiffen,
unsure it seemed you were,
to accept excitable desire
toward you,
perhaps fearful of such nearness.

With a quick peck on
billowy cushions,
disappointed somewhat,
I retracted,
it swims through my innards,
a scourge,
fresh disease,
I could not wipe
the sadness from
my shuttered eyelids,
was ‘playfully shy’
your process?

I protest with these lips,
beseech you to
explain away your fears,
attempts to allay mine
of not being enough,
of being too eager,
too excitable,
too weird,
is my pressuring too rough,
am I not the girl you wanted,
am I not the presence desired,
if not,
annihilate this morning,
embarrassment bleeding,
as your stuttering excuses start…

© 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by luizclas on Pexels

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