Light and shade,
I sweep the curtains shut,
keeping creeping moody blues
in mind,
seems they’ll never stop.
Heaving and breathing,
huffing and a-puffing,
affected am I this night,
heathens nesting in the room
from dawn until morning light.
Struggles to create
in a manner bright and saved,
annoyances in the gutter,
when will my thoughts be tamed?
For I am ailing, but to some,
no matter, I’m the one
who should troupe on regardless
of what I’m lacking in
my personal power.
I loathe, I hate,
this weakness in myself,
the inability to say no,
wanting to please,
keep their flashy smiles
in a row,
whilst I, I sit here in pain,
distended dreams,
dreamt in vain,
upon the moody windowpane,
trickles of falsified tears,
rain trails there to be admired,
cleansed pathways reverse-inked
in droves.
Light and shade calls forth
but all that seems present
is shade and shadows thrown,
there is no sunrise rising,
no beauty in my morning,
I mourn for things which I yearned for,
calling,
yowling presence causes progress
to begin stalling.
The bracken in this bonfire
lit by a little match,
how small a thought can then
become an inferno,
developing into disgust in myself
as of late,
what happened to living my
best life,
I’m exhausted to the point
I cannot breathe…
stifling this shallow breath,
for recycled air,
I begin to heave and heave.
© 2021 Lauren M. Hancock. All rights reserved.
Photo by Rafael Leão on Unsplash
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